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Ethan is joined by Doug Tennapel in Exile and Wes Halula on this Bee Weekly to talk about Texas ditching mask mandates and what it’s like to celebrate Lent while hating everybody. Ethan and Wes also discuss totally substantiated rumors of more Star Wars stars getting cancelled, irony striking at cockfights, and Satanic cats trying to crash passenger airplanes.  This episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast is brought to you by The Word of the Lord Endures, a fifteen minute, verse-by-verse bible study with Pastor Will Weedon. INTRO Kyle is gone for this week, but the Bee turned 5 years old, we have 100,000 subscribers on YouTube now, and comedy pitched to the algorithm gets rejected. Subscriber Dare (We’ll do anything to get you to subscribe) Jason Tate writes, “mention my new podcast Caffeinated Theology on a podcast, and I’ll upgrade my subscription. (Are y’all still doing that? Lol)”  Michael Poush writes, “ I was on the fence about subscribing, and then I heard you guys talk about how you’d do anything to get people to subscribe. On further review, I never did come up with anything I wanted; no websites to plug or anything. Can I get a voucher for one free shoutout at a later date? Thanks! Weird News Florida couple find 7-foot alligator lurking in garage Passenger flight turns around in Sudan when stowaway cat attacks pilot There are blue, pink, and green dogs running wild in Russia and I have questions. A rooster killed its owner with a knife. This woman was refused service at a grocery store for not wearing a mask so she did what any ordinary person would do NC-based Marine sentenced for smuggling firearms to Haiti in plot to train army, become president Giant NCAA bracket on Indiana hotel breaks Guinness record Totally substantiated Star Wars Rumors Star Wars land is crazy right now and everyone is getting cancelled. Doug Tennapel in Exile Doug Tennapel joins Ethan and Wes to talk about the week’s craziness and also what it’s like to celebrate Lent while hating everyone. Hate Mail Chayse says we crossed a line with our cat humor. Heads Up Stay tuned for our upcoming interview with Stryper’s Michael Sweet coming next Tuesday! Subscriber Portion Ethan, Wes and a mystery guest talk about showrunning and writing in Hollywood. Mailbag Michelle appreciates how we handled a delicate situation with certain celebrities abandoning the faith. Bonus Hate Mail The Bee Support asks why Anna cancelled us and she says we make fun of conservatives too much.  Subscriber Headlines of the Week

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to stand up comedian, Josh Denny. Josh was the host of Ginormous Food on Food Network until he was cancelled back in 2018 for a tweet. You can support his podcast and comedy on Locals.com  by searching Josh Denny. Kyle and Ethan talk to him about how he became a food show host, why McDonalds is worth fighting for, and the future of stand up comedy. Topics Discussed  Making a food network show Fault of most competition shows  Two reasons that will make Josh walk out on a restaurant filming Getting emails of doppelgangers Creating the wardrobe for your food show Project Greenlight McDonald's Jim Gaffigan’s stances  Comedians talking against Trump George Bush  Multi racial whiteness The absurdity of politics Ridicule over arguing  Winning on absurdity instead of intellectualism Being cancelled in 2018 Silver lining of covid  Choosing where to spend your money The reality of being a comedian Subscriber Portion Defending the tweet that cancelled Masked Singer Judging people by the color of your skin Being openly Pro-life Being educated on your rights Problem of censoring bad ideas  Josh’s way of making comedy Racial separation  Creating bits beyond the first idea  Jeselnik Offensive  Time machine  Putting guard rails on comedy Being relatable vs boring The Pixar movie Up Giving people a new perspective  Bombing story Why you need to bomb Auditions  Self tapes

Kyle and Ethan from The Babylon Bee Podcast are joined by Kristin Oren who has served as a tireless writer, headline generator, and copy editor for The Babylon Bee. They talk about new Disney Plus show content warnings you should know about, read weird news and hate mail, and meditate upon the spiritual lessons to be gleaned from competitive Russian slap fighting. Kyle and Ethan also talk to Amanda Hope Haley about her new book, The Red-Haired Archaeologist Digs Israel, and how archaeology can help us better understand Bible times. Introduction Weird News Baby monitor catches boy's funny exchange with Alexa when he was unable to sleep Panasonic's Nicobo is a pricey robot cat that farts whenever it feels like it Man Builds amazing bird village during pandemic Philadelphia airport employs robot for contact-free food delivery California woman's new ID has photo of her wearing a mask ‘Hot mom’ claims Sacramento Catholic school expelled her children because of her online photos Puppy born in Oklahoma believed to be the first to survive with six legs Idaho woman dresses husband in 35 T-shirts for Guinness record Disney Plus Shows That Are Getting Warnings YouTube Devotional - Finding Biblical Inspiration In… SLAP FIGHTS Topic of the Week: Digging Around Israel Amanda Hope Haley talks about her new book, The Red-Haired Archaeologist Digs Israel, and how archaeology can help us better understand Bible times. Hate Mail Subscriber Portion Subscriber Update  Mailbag  Bonus Hate Mail Steve gives us his address and hopes we die in a camp. Subscriber Headlines of the Week Kristin answers the ten questions

This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show. In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Dan talk to Jeff Deist. They talk about economics, Covid, and Disneyland security. Jeff is the president of the Mises Institute, where he serves as a writer, public speaker, and advocate for property, markets, and civil society. He is the host of The Human Action Podcast. He previously worked as a longtime advisor and chief of staff to former Congressman Dr. Ron Paul.  Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more. To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans. Topics Discussed State of society  Mises Institute Economics for the younger generation  How economics is all encompassing Austrian economics Economics being a social science  Finding ways to implement Libertarianism into society Federal Reserve Ron DeSantis Baby boomers Unseen consequences of economic policies Riots Disneyland security Subscriber Portion  Civilization  Ownership  Jeff’s religious origins Inside stories of Ron Paul Great reset What Trump’s victory meant 10 questions 

Kyle and Dan from The Babylon Bee are joined by Jonathan Watson of TheOneRing.Com as they catch up with Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin as they make it to the barrow-downs and immediately run into trouble. There’s some ghosties, ancient evil stirring, and newfound courage found in a dark place. The subscriber portion is where all the best content is, so head over to BabylonBee.Com/Plans and sign up to enjoy full-length podcasts! Chapter summary: The hobbits leave Tom Bombadil’s house, Frodo almost turns around sad he didn’t get to say goodbye, but Goldberry beckons to them from up ahead and sees them off properly. They lunch and accidentally fall asleep in a wide hollow circular area near a shapeless stone- that seemed to be a landmark or warning in its midst. Sinister fog rolls over them, feeling like a trap, and when the hobbits try to make their way out and into the fog they somehow get separated and captured by barrow-wights. Frodo stabs a hand and calls Tom Bombadil with a song. Tom rescues the hobbits and gives them all daggers which are swords for their size, and has his pony fetch their ponies, and then escorts them to the great east road where they just about make it to Bree. Some questions or themes: A line that gets adapted into the movie and put into Gandalf’s mouth in Return of the King: “either in dreams or out of them, he could not tell which, Frodo heard sweet singing running in his mind: ” a song that seemed to come like a pale light behind a grey rain-curtain, and growing stronger to turn the veil all to glass and silver, until at last it was rolled back, and a far green country opened before him under a swift sunrise. The vision melted into waking; and there was Tom whistling like a tree-full of birds; and the sun was already slanting down the hill and through the open window. Outside everything was green and pale gold.” Tolkien continues to sprinkle the history of the area throughout this chapter. “Tom said that it (the dike they thought was the road from a distance) had once been the boundary of a kingdom, but a very long time ago. He seemed to remember something sad about it, and would not say much.” The Men of Westernesse made their knives.. The brooch Tom finds for Goldberry has a history. The Dark Lord.. “overcome by evil king of Carn Dum in Land of Angmar.” ‘Few now remember them,’ Tom murmured, ‘yet still some go wandering, sons of forgotten kings walking in loneliness, guarding from evil things folk that are heedless.’ The hobbits did not understand his words, but as he spoke they had a vision as it were of a great expanse of years behind them, like a vast shadowy plain over which there strode shapes of Men, tall and grim with bright swords, and last came one with a star on his brow. But even as he spoke he turned his glance eastwards, and he saw that on that side the hills were higher and looked down upon them; and all those hills were crowned with green mounds, and on some were standing stones, pointing upwards like jagged teeth out of green gums. Tom is Master of his domain. He sings the barrow wights away. He removes any curse from the items in the barrow to make them free to all finders. He calls the ponies back. Frodo finds an awakened courage to not leave his friends so easily in the barrow and takes action. “There is a seed of courage hidden (often deeply, it is true) in the heart of the fattest and most timid hobbit, waiting for some final and desperate danger to make it grow. Frodo was neither very fat nor very timid; indeed, though he did not know it, Bilbo (and Gandalf) had thought him the best hobbit in the Shire. He thought he had come to the end of his adventure, and a terrible end, but the thought hardened him.” The hobbits run around naked on Tom’s orders. The power in naming and the evil of namelessness. MAILBAG Laura Hollingsworth caught our attention on Not The Bee Social by making incredible LOTR artwork. Buy her stuff here. Fog On Barrow-Downs specific Comments/Questions General Mailbag

Kyle and Ethan, from The Babylon Bee, are joined by Wes Halula, a writer and producer on Church People, to talk about the prospects of conservative and Christian films and also how the Babylon Bee gets away with spreading disinformation by putting “LOL, JK” at the end of every article according to Wikipedia editors. The guys also discuss the sad news of contemporary Christian music pioneer Carman and radio giant Rush Limbaugh passing away. There’s weird news, stuff that’s good, and glorious hate mail! Introduction Kyle, Ethan, and Wes talk about losing Carman and Rush this week. Stuff That’s Good Kyle likes Jon Foreman’s Departures. Ethan likes Wes’s movie Church People. Weird News California man's wallet lost in Antarctica returned after 53 years Rapper Len Martin Starts Gorilla Glue Challenge after thinking Tessica Brown’s story about being unable to get Gorilla Glue out of her hair was a hoax, Immediately gets red solo cup stuck to his face     Mysterious Trail of Four-Toed Footprints Discovered Atop Frosty Car in England Musician Turns Late Uncle's Skeleton into Working Guitar Ted Cruz is rocking a mullet now It’s freezing cold in Texas, The Weather Channel tweeted on January 21 that February would be unseasonably WARM  'I Was Gonna Be A Mashed Potato': Florida Boy Recounts Garbage Truck Horror Actor Sean Penn suggests the pope should "impeach" evangelical Christian leaders 20-foot-2-inch bear made from roses breaks Guinness record The guys from the Babylon Bee talk about the conversations by people editing our Wikipedia page about whether what we do can be legally considered “satire” or how we get away with spreading harmful disinformation by writing “lol jk” at the end of all our stories. Topic of the Week What are the prospects for independent conservative media? Is there a shift? Can Hollywood lose its grip on entertainment? Hate Mail Denise is saddened to see us post mistruths and have a misleading agenda. Subscriber Portion Kyle, Ethan, and Wes react to Carman’s Satan Bite The Dust and Addicted To Jesus. Subscriber Update Mailbag  Tim sends us an audio message from across the ocean wondering where Dave DeAndrea has been.  Bonus Hate Mail Terry thinks we are backing AOC and her lies! Subscriber Headlines of the Week Wes answers The Ten Questions!

This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show. In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Spencer Klavan. They talk about the current woke culture, essence of talent, and living as a gay Christian. Spencer Klavan is an Associate Editor @ClaremontInst/@Theammind and Host @YngHereticsShow (http://YoungHeretics.com). Spencer received his Doctorate in Greek and Roman literature, eventually writing the book Music in Ancient Greece: Melody, Rhythm, and Life based on his research.  Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more. To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans  Topics Discussed  Essence of Christmas movies Pandemic beards  Spencer in the musical Grease Singing in choir  Aristotle and free will 10,000 hour rule Alignment towards a purpose Isiah calling out to the angels Taking Homer’s, The Odyssey out of schools  Discovering Veggie Tales Young Heretics Podcast  #DISRUPTTEXTS Hypocrisy towards the evil of history How to read an epic  C.S. Lewis being the biggest 20th century intellectual  The Abolition of Man Shadowboxing with Freud and psychoanalysis Same sex attraction  Subscriber Portion  Getting ripped with Spencer What is the gay agenda? Transgender issues Gay Christian controversy The Ten Questions

Kyle and Dan, from The Babylon Bee, along with Jonathan Watson, from TheOneRing.Com where you can join a growing fellowship of Tolkien fans, get to one of their favorite chapters of The Lord of the Rings: In The House Of Tom Bombadil! Who the heck is this weird guy dancing and singing in the old forest? What did Tolkien say about who Tom is and what does he have to teach us? How is this detour in the old forest to Tom’s house essential to the story? Tom Bombadil is awesome and by the end of this episode, we think you’ll agree. Chapter 7 summary: The hobbits enter the house and seem to be enchanted by Goldberry. Frodo even bursts into song when he sees her. Frodo asks her who Tom Bombadil really is and she tells him that Tom is simply Tom: the master of wood, water and hill. He has no desire to own anything and he has no fear. Frodo asks Tom if he had heard their cry for help or if he had just happened to come by at the right time. Tom said that he had been expecting them. They eat and go to bed. The Hobbits all have nightmares, except Sam. Frodo dreams of man on a tower taken away by a large eagle and then black riders, Pippin is back in the willow tree, and Merry thinks he is about to be drowned.The next day it rains, so Tom begins to tell them stories. He tells them about the old forest and the trees like Old Man Willow. He warns them about the barrow downs and the spirits. The Hobbits lose track of time. Frodo once again tries to find out who Tom Bombadil is by asking him directly. Tom asks Frodo to show him the Ring. He is completely unconcerned about the ring or Sauron. He teaches them a rhyme to call him for help and tells them they must leave the next day. Topics Discussed Who the heck is Tom? "Tom was a paradoxical creature, one moment defeating ancient forces with hardly an effort, the next capering and singing nonsensical songs."  "Eldest, that's what I am... Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn... He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless - before the Dark Lord came from Outside." “He is Master of wood, water, and hill.” But he doesn’t own it! “That would be a burden,” says Goldberry. He also “just is as you have seen him” and is “not afraid.” Tom always seems preoccupied about his own business and seems to forget the needs of his guests. ‘Tom, Tom! your guests are tired, and you had near forgotten! Who the heck is Goldberry? She is full of joy and laughter and is described as “enthroned.” The paradox of Bombadil in that he is good but is not concerned with the shadow vs the Hobbits "you cannnot shut the world out forever" Kyle’s tweet thread about his favorite passage in Lord of the Rings: (though he reserves his right to say that a lot over the course of this show) Dan thinks it is odd that Tom just happens to have a feast set, four mattresses, four pairs of hobbit slippers, vessels of cold and hot water just waiting for the hobbits in the guest room. Tom says he was waiting for them.  “Farmer Maggot, whom he seemed to regard as a person of more importance than they had imagined. ‘There’s earth under his old feet, and clay on his fingers; wisdom in his bones, and both his eyes are open,’ said Tom. It was also clear that Tom had dealings with the Elves, and it seemed that in some fashion, news had reached him from Gildor concerning the flight of Frodo.” Our zeitgeist and its need for big, epic heroes, and its intolerance of quirkiness and things that are uncool. Whether the morning and evening of one day or of many days had passed Frodo could not tell. He did not feel either hungry or tired, only filled with wonder. ‘Who are you, Master?’ he asked. ‘Eh, what?’ said Tom sitting up, and his eyes glinting in the gloom. ‘Don’t you know my name yet? That’s the only answer. Tell me, who are you, alone, yourself and nameless? But you are young and I am old. Eldest, that’s what I am. Mark my words, my friends: Tom was here before the river and the trees; Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn. He made paths before the Big People, and saw the little People arriving. He was here before the Kings and the graves and the Barrow-wights. When the Elves passed westward, Tom was here already, before the seas were bent. He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless – before the Dark Lord came from Outside.’ Tom holds up the superweapon of Sauron and laughs at it like it’s child’s play. And can even make it disappear??? Tom can see invisible Frodo? Some stuff from Silmarillion is mentioned like Valar and Maiar and hopefully the slides on the video help. Tom doesn’t fit any established category in Middle-Earth. Is Tom Bombadil right to be unconcerned with fighting evil? Subscriber Portion We “solve” who Tom really is (become a subscriber)Tolkien’s own words about Tom Bombadil Subscriber Questions, fan theories, and tattoo suggestions for Kyle The Hobbits’ dreams in the house of Tom Bombadil

The Queen Bees, Destiny, Jess, and Chandra, join their blockheaded husbands, Kyle, Ethan, and Dan, for a great Valentine’s Party on The Babylon Bee Podcast. They talk about their spouse’s annoying habits, tough guys from San Bernardino getting stabbed, and Kyle’s thing for feet. In the subscriber portion, they answer questions taken from subscribers and the ladies are subjected to the world-famous Ten Questions!   Chandra is a different color than Dan The horrors of parenting Some of the scariest moments of having children Why a kid will need a rhino leash Relationship Questions Spouse’s Annoying Habits Cultivating desire or repulsion Kyle’s Thing For Feet Fighting is a good thing Don’t leave your meat trash in the sink Tough Guys From San Bernardino  Patrick is single, ladies Subscriber-submitted questions Wives Answer The Ten Questions  

This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show. In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Kerri Pomarolli, comedian, actress, author of 6 books, and “out-of-the-closet Christian in Hollywood.” Kerri has worked with Jay Leno on the Tonight Show, performing in numerous sketches. She has hosted the Gospel Music Awards and has a Dry Bar Comedy special coming up. Her book Confessions Of A Proverbs 32 Woman has been featured on The Babylon Bee. Topics include Mormon heaven, comedy in the Trump era, and keeping her ex-husband in her garage.  Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more. To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans  Topics Discussed Mormons and heaven  Jim Bakker story Earthquake kits Asian babies  Ancestry  Being outside of the Liberal bubble Confessions about Proverbs 32 Essential oils Married people  Value of ex-husbands Homeschooling   Healing through prayer Honor students Organizing moms on Facebook Being asked out by a 22 year old dentist 80s entertainment  Henry Winkler TikTok Parler Instagram Linkedin  Cobra Kai  Trump voting Mike Lindell having secret information Soap opera acting Working with Jay Leno  Being openly conservative in Hollywood Having to say no to films  Wikifeet Touring with your ex-husband Divorce Subscriber Portion  Roaming the isles of Homegoods Steven Wright High energy Kyle Jonas Brothers Casting Crowns  Amy Grant  Meeting Kirk Cameron  Dukes of Hazzard  Kathy Lee Gifford  Sean Astin Hosting red carpets Behind the scenes of  The Tonight Show  Jim Carrey  Losing the edge in comedy Eminem  Mormonism  EHarmony Future of stand up comedy Censorship  Subtle racism of entertainment  Hallmark movies  Smiling under a mask  10 questions 

Kyle, Dan, and Jonathan Watson, of TheOneRing.Com, guide you to Crickhollow, where Samwise Gamgee’s conspiracy is unmasked, and then on to a spooky ancient forest that tries to kill the hobbits. Then, as Kyle puts it, a “cracked out hobo” comes to rescue them. It’s two chapters this week on The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord of the Rings! Chapter summaries: Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry make it to the tucked away house in Crickhollow and also meet Fatty who with Merry has been getting the house ready. The three travellers all bathe together and sing (in separate tubs), eat food, and Frodo finds out that his friends have known all along about the conspiracy to get the ring out of the Shire. Their plan is to sneak out through a small gate in the hedge that separates Buckland from the Old Forest. We learn that the Forest is very much alive and at enmity with the “colonizers” of Buckland. The four hobbits going through the Old Forest quickly find the forest against them! Old Man Willow causes the hobbits to fall asleep, traps Merry and Pippin within its cracks, and almost drowns Frodo.  A cracked out hobo in the woods comes to their rescue! Some questions or themes: The fellowship seems to be borne in Chapter 5. Merry and Pippin refuse to let Frodo rush off into danger without them coming too. The stouthearted loyalty of the hobbits in their friendship The Forest being alive and at enmity and able to react to the trespassers Intro to Tom Bombadil MAILBAG

Kyle and Ethan from The Babylon Bee talk about bears crashing a techno jam, spinach is now sending e-mails,  and how to generate a Christian movie using the internet. There’s weird news, stuff that’s good, and glorious hate mail. Introduction Welcome to the newly revamped Bee Weekly. But first, A clarification on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez article. Subscriber Dare Weird News A mob of left-wing radicals armed with hatchets and knives took over a Washington hotel on Sunday -- wait, the corporate media didn't tell you??-in-wa-on-sunday-the-media-told-you-all-about-it-right Bear interrupts DJ’s online techno jam Hitler’s toilet seat is going up for auction This tech company returned to their office after lockdown to discover the building was now under the control of 20,000 bees! Elon Musk's Brain Company Hopes To Make a Cyborg Monkey Play 'Mind Pong' Texas accidentally issues Amber Alert for cursed doll Chucky Scientists Have Taught Spinach To Send Emails STUFF THAT’S GOOD Ethan has stuff that’s good: Inferno City Firehouse Topic of The Week Can the internet make a better Christian movie than what is already out there? We generated a Christian movie using the internet. Hate Mail Lynn says that The Babylon Bee is the laughing stock of all the Republicans in her great area. Subscriber Portion Can the internet make a better Christian romance film? Mailbag Rush liked our interview with James White and is praying for Ethan. Subscriber Headlines of the Week Got Any Cool Stories?

This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show. In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Matthew Hongoltz-Hetling, author of A Libertarian Walks Into A Bear, a book about what happened when libertarians took over a small town in New Hampshire with the one goal of dismantling its government and then the bears arrived. Matthew is an award-winning author, longform writer and investigative international journalist based in New England and his work has been featured in the Associated Press and USA Today. Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more. To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.  Topics Discussed  The small world of bear authors Axe Cop Libertarian Utopia  Problems with Libertarian utopia Bears arrive Burying the lead People that would move to a Libertarian utopia The Libertarian pastor New England’s history with bears Bear vs llama Subscriber Portion  History of utopia’s Fordlandia Epcot Matthew’s diverse and oddball career before journalism Small town journalism Ethan story Why we need small town journalism Vampires in New England 10 questions 11th question about reaching out to the other side

Frodo, Sam, and Pippin continue trekking through the Shire in this week’s The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord Of The Rings with Kyle and Dan joined by Jonathan Watson from The One Ring, an online fellowship as well as a place for cool Middle-Earth maps and articles. We discover Farmer Maggot, some black riders, and the shortcut to mushrooms.  Note: We had to salvage the audio on this episode after running into several separate production issues, but the discussion is good and we hope you still enjoy it. Chapter summary: Frodo, Sam, and Pippin make for Bucklebury after spending the night at a wooden hall where they were hosted by the elves led by Gildor Inglorion. Frodo worries about taking his friends into danger or exile. Sam states his loyalty to Frodo no matter what. Frodo and Pippin banter. They decide to stay just off the road so they won’t be spotted on the road by Black Riders and cut straight across the country to Bucklebury Ferry bypassing Stock, crossing the Stock-brook and missing the Golden Perch’s fine beer. Sam spots a rider behind them at the top of the green bank from where they climbed down right when they start debating going back because of difficult terrain. They hear the Nazgul cries and cut across open ground until they come to more orderly lands and ultimately Farmer Maggot’s lands. Frodo is distressed because he was a mushroom thief and terrified of the farmer’s dogs. The farmer was just getting his dogs out due to a black rider being suspicious on his lands. He brings them in and feeds them and gives them good ale on tap and gets them to Bucklebury Ferry. The banter between Frodo and Pippin. Pippin didn’t want to leave Frodo any breakfast but Sam insisted. “I don’t want to answer a sting of questions while I am eating. I want to think!” “Good heavens! At Breakfast?” “Short cuts make long delays” “All right!” I will follow you into every bog and ditch! But it is hard! I had counted on passing the Golden Perch at Stock before sundown! The best beer in the Eastfarthing…”  “That settles it!’ said Frodo. “Short cuts make delays, but inns make longer ones.” The stout loyalty of Sam ‘If you don’t come back, sir, then I shan’t, that’s certain,’ said Sam. ‘Don’t you leave him! they said to me. Leave him! I said. I never mean to. I am going with him, if he climbs to the Moon; and if any of those Black Riders try to stop him, they’ll have Sam Gamgee to reckon with, I said. They laughed.’ … way. I know we are going to take a very long road, into darkness; but I know I can’t turn back. It isn’t to see Elves now, nor dragons, nor mountains, that I want – I don’t rightly know what I want: but I have something to do before the end, and it lies ahead, not in the Shire. I must see it through, sir, if you understand me.’ Special Elf Drink “When they came to make their meal, they found that the Elves had filled their bottles with a clear drink, pale golden in colour: it had the scent of a honey made of many flowers, and was wonderfully refreshing. Very soon they were laughing, and snapping their fingers at rain, and at Black Riders. The last few miles, they felt, would soon be behind them.” They start singing louder and louder and the evil and lonely sounding black riders begin to cry to one another. CREEPY Farmer Maggot A Black Rider had been asking the Farmer about Baggins right before they showed up. Gives advice to stay in Buckland, not get mixed up with those weird Hobbiton folk like Bilbo and says if the Black Rider comes back, he’ll deal with him! They get supper, ale, and a dark ride to the ferry and a basket of mushrooms.MAILBAG Lynn asks us to set aside our Jacksonian lenses. From David on expected and unexpected parties. From Sarah on finding rest for this crazy world in Tolkien. For Kyles fixation on Tolkien tattoos, a message from RDeis23. From Real Lawyer, Not Rules Lawyer on the cool-as-a-cucumber Gandalf. 2hokies has an audiobook recommendation.

Kyle and Ethan from The Babylon Bee talk about Gavin Newsom lifting lockdowns, GameStop stonks, and the impeachment of a former president. They also throw down in an epic rap battle and tell you how you can have a zoo name a roach after your ex.  Introduction Kyle and Ethan have a rap battle so you will throw money at them. Stuff That’s Good Kyle likes his trusty Leatherman Rebar. Ethan likes his new collection of G.K. Chesterton poems signed by the man himself. Weird News Zoo offers to name roaches, rats after patrons' ex-lovers GoPro camera recovered after six years underwater in Hawaii Skier chased by a bear at Romanian resort Inventor unveils airbag jeans to protect motorcyclists in crashes Oklahoma bill would establish a Bigfoot hunting season Toronto woman finds knife-wielding squirrel in the back yard Man catches 54 pieces of popcorn in his mouth in one minute Stories of the Week Story 1 'You Can Reopen Now!' Governor Newsom Shouts At Row Of Abandoned, Dilapidated Buildings Story 2 GameStop Announces That Due To Skyrocketing Stock, They Can Now Afford To Pay Up To 25 Cents For Your Used Games Story 3 Congress To Retroactively Impeach All Previous Republican Presidents Topic of the Week https://babylonbee.com/news/another-10-fulfilled-prophecies-from-the-babylon-bee Hate Mail Richard takes issue with us assuming the fate of the eternal soul of Jeffrey Epstein or making light of hell. Subscriber Portion Subscriber Update Mailbag A LOVE MAIL from Joseph R. and asking for advice on marriage & purity, and also to dispute Kyle and Dan’s ranking of LOTR films. Bonus Hate Mail Kwame thinks our AOC coverage is bad and we should feel bad. Subscriber Headlines of the Week Got Any Cool Stories? We get an unbelievable update about one of Calvins- you already know which one.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to James White, best known for debating Atheists, Catholics, and Muslims. He is the host of The Dividing Line Webcast, and Director of Alpha and Omega Ministries. He is the author of more than twenty books and an accomplished debater on subjects ranging from the King James Only controversy, Roman Catholicism, Islam, Calvinism and Mormonism. Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more. To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans  Topics Discussed Apologetics ministry Jeffery Durbin  Keeping church open during Covid Abigail Shrier  America is heading toward Leftism Muslim debates Preaching from Luther’s pulpit  Learning from the past Islam belief systems  Start of the King James only controversy  Greatest gifts to young people before college Gale Riplringner cultism James’ White favorite Bible translation Sweater Vest Dialogues James White 2nd best selling book Grief after death Calvinism and the problem of Evil Defining Arminianism and Free Will  Subscriber Portion  Hanging out with Skillet Worse debate stories Atheists trying to own James White Disasters of debate Memes of James White Western culture doesn't understand debates Youtube debates G.K. Chesterton eternal destiny Roman Catholic question Beetle Dung hills Why most protestants would agree with Catholics 10 questions  Good fight story

From the heart of the Shire, through the depths of Moria, to the ends of Middle-Earth, it’s The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord Of The Rings! In this episode of The Babylon Bee Reads, Kyle and Dan are joined by Jonathan Watson, creator alongside his two friends of TheOneRing.Com, which can also be followed on Facebook. Kyle, Dan, and Jon continue their fellowship in reading through The Fellowship of the Ring, this time in Chapter 3 Three’s Company, where three hobbits encounter black riders and elves in their very own Shire.   Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more. To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans. The story so far: The Shadow of the past summary- Gandalf has told Frodo all about The Ring and that he is no longer safe in the Shire. Samwise is recruited to accompany Frodo. In this chapter: Frodo has to slip out of the Shire unnoticed so he hatches a plan of pretending to move to a new house in Crickhollow beyond/near Buckland where his Brandybuck side lives while the plan is really to make for Rivendell. Plans to leave on his 50th birthday Life lesson: “What is to be my quest? Bilbo went to find a treasure, there and back again; but I go to lose one, and not return, as far as I can see.’ ‘But you cannot see very far,’ said Gandalf. Something spooks Gandalf who leaves suddenly to try to get news/ he tells Frodo to not use the ring! He promises to be back in time for the birthday party and to set off with Frodo (this does not happen- dang wizards). Frodo’s wine is not included in the sale of Bag End to the dreaded S.-B.s. and does not offer her any tea when Lobelia comes with an inventory list. Frodo leaves for a leisurely night hike to set out with Sam and Pippin and hears unpleasant voice asking about him at the Gamgees. They get their packs and Sam says farewell to the beer barrel in the cellar. Sam’s character: ‘I am sure you have given me all the heaviest stuff,’ said Frodo. ‘I pity snails, and all that carry their homes on their backs.’ ‘I could take a lot more yet, sir. My packet is quite light,’ said Sam stoutly and untruthfully. They walk, encamp, banter, eat, walk, eat, walk on a southern side road running through hill country eastward when they hear hooves coming up behind them. Frodo wants them to hide and “curiosity or some other feeling was struggling with his desire to hide.” The rider seems to have an invisible nose and is using it to smell for someone. They begin traveling alongside the road a stone’s throw to avoid detection. They encounter a rider again and then run into the elves who take them to a wood hall. Gildor! The Black riders are scared of the elves.  The hobbits see the distinction between the Black Riders and the Elves.  What is the significance of the songs they sing in this chapter? Gildor offers protection for the hobbits and is impressed with Frodo, naming him “Elf Friend.” Gildor tells Frodo and the hobbits to carry on without Gandalf and to avoid the black riders.  Gildor tells the hobbits that he’ll send word to any other allies about his journey, although Frodo will discover that the elves are increasingly leaving Middle Earth.  The Babylon Bee Reads LOTR Inn & Pub MAILBO BAGGINS We receive powerful testimony the brings up question about what money is used in the Shire On Fairy Stories and Eucatastrophe. The Will of the Ring.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like Skynet being a private company so their Terminator robots can do whatever they want to you, Democratic states are suddenly following the science on lockdowns, and how the right is learning from the left’s past four years on how to cope when they feel like the president is not their president. There’s weird news, glorious hate mail, and Kyle can’t say the word “dang.” Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.   To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.   Introduction Kyle can’t say ‘dang.’ Stuff That’s Good  Kyle likes C.S. Lewis’ Abolition of Man  Ethan likes Run, Hide, Fight from The Daily Wire Run Hide Fight Trailer Dallas Sonnier Interview with Ben Shapiro  Weird News  New wristband the 'Moodbeam'  tells your boss if you are unhappy Joe Exotic had a limo parked outside his prison, along with hair, makeup, and wardrobe people on standby, in case Trump pardoned him which never happened. Link A California man was arrested Saturday and accused of hiding in a restricted area of Chicago's O'Hare International Airport for three months.  Stefan Thomas, of San Francisco, says he has made peace with forgetting his Bitcoin password that would turn him into a multimillionaire.  Thomas, who recently was featured in The New York Times, has about $220 million worth of Bitcoin locked away on a hard drive that will erase its data after 10 password attempts. A New Guinness World Record! Musician plays box drum for over 25 hours for new Guinness record Amazon removes ‘distasteful’ coronavirus masks from sale.  Stories of the Week    Story 1: ‘Skynet Is A Private Company, They Can Do What They Want,’ Says Man Getting Curb-Stomped By Terminator Summary: Local man Karl Langler argued that Skynet is a private company and can do what they want as a Terminator T-800 curb-stomped him and then vaporized him with a plasma rifle. “Listen, I hear people actually complaining that this is somehow a human rights violation. But only the government can violate your first amendment rights. Skynet is the creation of Cyberdyne systems and is a private company. They have the freedom to do whatever they want with their own platform.” Story 2: Democrat States Follow The Science By Doing What Florida Did Back In May Summary: Democrat-run states are now calling on the nation to follow the science by doing what Florida did back in May: don’t do lockdowns. Story 3: Republican Starting To Think Trump Might Not Pull Off A Last-Minute 4D Chess Move Summary: Local Republican man Edward Chasney admitted Wednesday that he’s starting to worry Trump might not actually pull off a last-minute 4D chess move to win the election. Topic of the Week: How to cope with life under a president you find hard to accept   Put on a neon vest and shriek at the sky   Accuse him of colluding with a foreign adversary with no evidence while sleeping with a Chinese spy Impeach him at least 3 times, even on the final week of his presidency - why not go for four Riot in every major city, set fires, and loot for weeks on end for like 6 months  - but whatever you do DO NOT riot at the capitol Make every Late Night joke some variation of  ‘your president bad’  Have all comedians stop doing comedy and instead spend every waking minute tweeting at the president with some sort of expletive-laden Braveheart speech Immediately assume half the country is secretly Nazis When dining out, scream at all the other diners that we now live under a dictator between bites Take 12 months worth of hormonal birth control at once and scream into your camera Get a permanent face mask with stay 6 feet away printed on it Keep all of your friends and family that agree with you close enough to hear the echo in the room Make sure to do a deep dive into every actor and musician’s Twitter history to make sure they align perfectly with your views. If not, cancel them. Don’t forget to embrace diversity as long as everyone still sees things exactly as you do Keep the news on 24 hours a day and never leave the house. Always be on Twitter and your phone. Make sure you know everything the president is doing at all times.   Weep uncontrollably until 2024     Hate Mail Judith seems to think we are racist and don’t understand the Calvinism/Arminianism debate, and doesn’t appreciate the Biden color chart for covid relief calculations. Subscriber Portion Behind the Scenes Update Bonus Hate Mail Updates to the podcast Headline Forum Highlights Got any cool stories

This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show. In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to comedian Dustin Nickerson who hails from Seattle, but suffers in Southern California. Dustin was married at 19 and 15 years later has 3 kids, so he has plenty of insight on parenting, marriage, and being generally annoyed by people. Dustin has a new special on Amazon called OVERWHELMED. Topics covered are Dustin’s start in stand up, new lockdowns, and working as a youth pastor.  Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more. To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans Topic Discussed Starting a stand up comedy career Favorite Bee article Political comedy Ethan’s connection to Dustin Living in Seattle Chaz Moving to San Diego 2nd round of lockdowns Secrets of a happy marriage Coos Bay Working as a youth pastor Comedy for Christian crowds Bad stand up gigs Laughing at both sides of politics Golfing with Larry the Cable Guy Subscriber Portion Keurig of furniture Roast of the subscriber lounge Bad segways  College gigs Facebook trolling Comedy on the internet Mark Driscoll Being too insignificant to get fired Disdain for celebrity Pastors Appreciation of stand-up Brad Garrett stories 10 questions Alter Call

From the heart of the Shire, through the depths of Moria, to the ends of Middle-Earth, it’s The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord Of The Rings! In this episode of The Babylon Bee Reads, Kyle and Dan are joined by Jonathan Watson, creator alongside his two friends of TheOneRing.Com, which can also be followed on Facebook. Kyle, Dan, and Jon are on a quest to joyfully dig through Chapter 2, The Shadow Of The Past, which gives us plenty of exposition about the one ring, the stirring forces of evil in Middle-Earth and explains why Frodo is no longer safe in the Shire. Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more. To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans. Chapter 2 - The Shadow of the Past Frodo is an oddity like Bilbo was and becomes restless. He continues celebrating Bilbo’s birthday and shows signs of ‘good preservation’ even as he approaches age 50 the same age when Bilbo left on his journey.  Tolkien is telling history before it happens (the developing of his myth like Mad Baggins) We hear about his close friends... Fredegar Bolder and Folco Boffin are mentioned but Merry and Pippin are closest and are anxious about him as Frodo takes to taking long walks farther away from home in the hills under the stars and becoming obsessed with maps and dreaming of mountains he has never seen before. “The old paths seemed too well-trodden” Frodo is seeing the elves going west as they leave M-E for good. And dwarves are coming west to the Blue Mountains. They provide a lot of news from outside the Shire...  Ominous tidings.  “They were troubled, and some spoke in whispers of the Enemy and of the Land of Mordor.” the evil power in Mirkwood had been driven out by the White Council only to reappear in greater strength in the old strongholds of Mordor. The Dark Tower had been rebuilt, it was said. From there the power was spreading far and wide, and away far east and south there were wars and growing fear. Orcs were multiplying again in the mountains. Trolls were abroad, no longer dull-witted, but cunning and armed with dreadful weapons. And there were murmured hints of creatures more terrible than all these, but they had no name.” Gandalf hasn’t been seen for 9 years, after a time of coming and going and being concerned about Frodo’s health (what does he suspect?), and just as well since the people of the Shire suspect he had something to do with Bilbo going mad and disappearing "'I wish it need not have happened in my time,' said Frodo. 'So do I,' said Gandalf, 'and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.'"  The discussion of the fall and corruption of Smeagol and a discussion on the pity of Bilbo. The depiction of Sméagol not being wholly ruined. A discussion of fate in The Lord of the Rings: Bilbo was meant to find the ring and Frodo was meant to have it. Wills of secondary agents.Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. I have not much hope that Gollum can be cured before he dies, but there is a chance of it. And he is bound up with the fate of the Ring. My heart tells me that he has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before the end; and when that comes, the pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many – yours not least. We get introduced to Samwise Gamgee w/ the convo at The Green Dragon at Bywater!! (He believes in “fairies” or at least dragons and ents) Has a love for elves and has a childlike wonder about the world nurtured by Bilbo’s stories. “I dare say there’s more truth in some of them than you reckon.” G.K. Chesterton wrote about the importance of fairytales as did Lewis and Tolkien… “Fairytales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairytales tell children that dragons can be killed.” Frodo seems to have some trust issues with Gandalf. You say the ring is dangerous, far more dangerous than I guess. It would overcome anyone of mortal race. The ring would possess the possessor ‘A mortal, Frodo, who keeps one of the Great Rings, does not die, but he does not grow or obtain more life, he merely continues, until at last every minute is a weariness. And if he often uses the Ring to make himself invisible, he fades: he becomes in the end invisible permanently, walks in the twilight under the eye of the Dark Power that rules the Rings. Yes, sooner or later – later, if he is strong or well-meaning to begin with, but neither strength nor good purpose will last – sooner or later the Dark Power will devour him.’ The ring can also shrink or expand at will to slip of a finger if it wanted. Gandalf began to think something odd about it right when Bilbo found it and lied about winning the ring from Gollum. He talks about Saruman and whether Bible will be harmed. He voluntarily gave up the ring! Among the Wise I am the only one that goes in for hobbit-lore: an obscure branch of knowledge, but full of surprises. Soft as butter they can be, and yet sometimes as tough as old tree roots. Greatness vs Morality  Subscriber Portion Mail-bo Baggins! Jonathan’s take on the Movie adaptations  Movie Differences