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Greg reviews how two types of cognitive bias impact our listening abilities in relationships with others and shares that being present doesn’t mean literally; it means being present in intent and emotional engagement. He reminds listeners that “fixers” often unintentionally hijack engagements because they were likely not permitted to be right or were often corrected resulting in low self-esteem and coping mechanisms. Regardless of origin, “fixers” don’t develop a sufficient emotional vocabulary and emotions provide the needed input for managing ourselves and responding effectively to others. He shares other “fixer” traits and offers hope that the autopilot can be rerouted in a positive direction. To learn more about Greg and his practice, go to www.kipercounseling.com

Greg continues to talk about how our frame of reference when listening is through the lens of Cognitive Bias which results in our brains filtering the information we process. This can lead to short-cuts that leave out significant information and sensitivities. Greg goes on to explain the two types of cognitive bias he sees most often and how they impact our ability to listen. Often one partner hijacks an interaction because of their need for validation and respect; essentially ignoring the other’s need for same. Stacy continues to pepper Greg with questions as she searches for answers for her and other “Fixers” out there. To learn more about Greg and his practice, go to www.kipercounseling.com

Greg continues to talk about the topic of listening and how when we listen it’s usually with cognitive bias or as a “Fixer.” He spends a lot of time talking about “The Fixer” and their origin story; where their need for answers, control and fear of emotion began. He also explains why they need to be met with compassion versus frustration. Stacy asks lots of questions on the topic since she relates to The Fixer. To learn more about Greg and his practice, go to www.kipercounseling.com

Greg picks up where he left off on the topic of listening and how we should listen with context, intent and awareness of our own interpretation; something he refers to as “the fluffy stuff.” He comments that today’s norm is forcing a point of view rather than listening to, understanding or respecting other’s points of view. We have Fixer Bias, we can be attributed to an inability on the Fixer's part to feel, share and express emotions. That makes it increasingly difficult to bridge the gap and find common ground. To learn more about Greg and his practice, go to www.kipercounseling.com

Greg and Stacy review what they discussed last week about listening for intent AND content, and they talk a bit more about the power of our two “brains;” the brain and the heart. Greg picks up where he left off to discuss more about how our past experiences influence what we hear and how we hear it. He explains that listening with our hearts creates empathy which bridges the gap between our own past, and what is being shared presently. Greg shares some heavy truths which are lightened with ideas for how to approach communicating with curiosity, lack of judgement, and a heavy dose of self-awareness and humor. To learn more about Greg and his practice, go to www.kipercounseling.com

Greg is back live from an extended break; he shares what he was doing and what he noticed while away. His biggest takeaway was our innate need for social connection with others and how that connection ideally goes beyond just words. To truly connect we need to listen for total meaning, not default to trying to solve for what we perceive to be the problem, make it about ourselves, or dismiss what we’re hearing all together. Greg also shares interesting information about the power of the heart as a second “energetic” brain which leads to a bigger conversation. To learn more about Greg and his practice, go to www.kipercounseling.com

Greg and Stacy start with a brief recap from the last show when a call comes in from Maureen in Everett. Maureen shares she has an adult daughter with MS who’s experienced multiple traumas and likely experiences PTSD; she confesses she struggles to listen to her daughter because she goes on and on and has refused counseling. Greg offers some suggestions and support for Maureen and her daughter before turning to today’s topic of thinking with people. Greg gives a simple solution to practice for staying present and in the moment so the other person can feel heard. To learn more about Greg and his practice, go to www.kipercounseling.com

Greg decides to zig from his most recent line of discussion partly inspired by some new clients seeking relationship counseling. He shares that we don’t just learn how to cope and react based on past experiences, we learn how to listen and react as well which places us squarely back in autopilot and avoidance mode. Greg talks about active listening, being vulnerable, and how important it is that our partners FEEL heard. Next week Greg will talk about the steps to be a better active listener. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

Without awareness, we've allowed our lives to be run from our past experiences and the emotional charge accompanying those experiences. Greg looks at how our choices can change this dynamic and the control returned to the present moment in our awareness.

Greg reviews the last episode and reminds listeners how our wounds are inflicted; slowly, over time, layer by layer, sometimes by others and often, by ourselves. From there he talks about how to address our wounds, with intention, grace, and compassion versus judgement and shame. Ultimately, while we shouldn’t forget about our wounds, we should forgive ourselves and others so we can fully heal. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

Per usual Greg reviews last week’s episode, reminding listeners about the power of intention and how every action is created by us, as is the resulting effect. Because we typically choose actions that result in a negative experience because we follow the path forged by our autopilot. Greg also reviews how we develop emotionally from birth on and why compassion training is vital when it comes to regarding others and ourselves. Lastly, Greg shares a letter from a listener in response to the April 25th episode and expands on his thoughts around the posed question. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

After a brief review of the last episode, Greg picks up where he left off reminding listening that as we begin to explore awareness, we start to realize that the illusions we’ve created aren't offering safety, they’re keeping us stagnate. The negative experiences we have tell us our lives are not working. We need to vibrate our energy on a level that welcomes growth of any kind and to get there we need to remove the bandages, thus the start of a healing journey where intention determines where our attention goes. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

At the Root debuts the new hourlong format. Greg introduces new listeners to the show, giving them background on the show, its’ purpose and how to connect to him live or otherwise. After a short break, Greg explains that wounds left untended may fester leading to feelings of anger or resentment. He poses the question, “If our “True Self” was the part wounded, who applied the bandages?” He also shares a mantra to use as a reminder that we are a masterpiece in the making. Lastly, newly engaged Jason calls into the program asking about staying connected for the long-haul. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

Greg shares a big announcement - At the Root will now air live on Mondays from 3-4pm PST on Alternative Talk 1150 AM radio! The additional time will allow Greg to expand on content and explain it in more depth with examples. He’ll also welcome guests such as other practitioners and encourage people to call or message him with specific questions. With this episode, Greg encourages listeners to start on their Healing Journey, open to infinite possibilities. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

Greg picks up where he left off talking about the illusions we create because of emotional wounds. To deal with these illusions, we create coping mechanisms like anger, denial, addiction, avoidance, etc. that Greg refers to as bandages. These bandages don’t address the wounds, they merely dress them, or cover them up. Surprisingly, Greg explains that before we can remove the bandages, it is important to access the wounds, not the other way round. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

Reviewing the concept of illusions and how they function as part of our autopilot, Greg reiterates how without awareness, our illusions are in control. As our sphere of influence grows, so do our reactions to perceived threats. Illusions enable us to cope until truth threatens our protective bubble forcing us to look at the emotional wounds that are the basis of these illusions. Greg shares that most people choose denial over feelings of shame; however, he warns that simply allows our illusions to fester. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

Greg takes a step back to explore our illusions in more depth. He addresses basics like, when do they develop and what purpose do they serve? Why do we develop them when we can’t recall any “trauma?” and why don’t we shed them over time? Greg walks listeners through the origin story timeline of our illusions and starts to explore the long-lasting impact of not addressing them, on ourselves and our relationships. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

Greg talks about how to repair relationships when our behavior triggers our partner, creating disconnect. Preparing for the repair gives each person time reflect and recover and move to a WE position that lacks blame, and then what? Greg breaks down the next steps and shares how to KEEP IT WE, by making I statements. Using Steve and Charlotte as an example, Greg highlights the importance of exploring what is behind triggers as a team for greater connection. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

After talking about “preparing for the repair” last time, Greg shifts the focus to the power of thinking in terms of WE. He explains that when things get tough in our relationships, by thinking as WE, it’s possible to turn what's happened into a learning experience. Referencing his work with Steve and Charlotte, Greg “shows” listeners what he means using them as an example. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

While preparing to do his taxes, Greg made a connection between an expense file and what he’s been talking about recently - awareness of what our triggers and illusions are and how we sometimes goof. When mistakes are made, repairs are necessary to move forward; what is the expense to repair; how much was damage was done? Greg encourages allowing for time and space to understand and accept accountability for unconscious behavior. The individual awareness helps to "prepare to repair" when a mistake is made and, the preparation can keep the cost of the repair down.