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ArtHoles

29 Episodes

148 minutes | Feb 10, 2021
Frida Kahlo Ep 7 of 7: Viva la Vida
In the Frida finale, we alternate between having lots of fun and exploring the cavernous depths of human suffering. But we also have fun? If you're here at the end, thank you so, so much for taking this entire weird journey with me. This really has been a life-changing project for me.  Seriously, though, we will have some fun. Also, it gets sad. Like, really sad. 
161 minutes | Feb 10, 2021
Frida Kahlo Ep 6 of 7: Parrots, Turkeys, and Russian Roosters...Oh My!
In what was supposed to be the finale, but instead turned into the episode before the finale, we learn quite a bit. Really, we learn too much. About neckerchiefs, turkeys, monotheism, Val Kilmer, making still life paintings look like porn, broken columns and wounded deer, and the Golden Age of Mexican Cinema. Along the way, Frida puts it on a German guy, takes a surprising new job, decorates a pulqueria, and makes a desperate choice when it comes to her health. 
175 minutes | Jun 9, 2020
Frida Kahlo Ep 5 of 7: до свида́ния
The episode that broke me.  11/28 update: two-parter finale is on the way soon. Apologies for the delay, it's been a crazy few months and anything under 4 hours for the finale would've been a crime.
102 minutes | Mar 24, 2020
Frida Kahlo Ep 4 of 7: The Moment You Realize You're Pregnant
  In a rollercoaster of an episode, we learn about mural negotiations, chicken salad sandwiches that curb masturbation, and which type of gringo is worst.  Along the way, we’ll figure out which type of baby is cutest, how to freak out journalists with candy, and meet a true best friend.   Frida is more of a passenger than a driver in this episode.  In the time period we cover, she begins as a doting wife, roommate, and travel companion.  By the time we’re done, she’ll have tested the boundaries of pain and loss, on her way to becoming someone who  will change the world
71 minutes | Feb 12, 2020
Frida Kahlo Ep 3 of 7: A Friend Beyond the Glass
While Frida recovers-ish from the accident, she starts down a new path.  This path will take her to a magical place beyond a window, the Communist Party, a Tina Modotti party, and a wedding party.   Diego has a hard time keeping Dieguito in his pants as he makes his move, I tell embarrassing stories, Matilde and Guillermo continue to not talk, missed x-rays are the worst x-rays, and we learn what goes into changing the spelling of your name. And, there are multiple shootings, both of people and electronic equipment.   @artholespodcast artholespodcast@gmail.com
75 minutes | Jan 2, 2020
Frida Kahlo Ep 2 of 7: Meet the Kahlos
How many daughters is too many daughters? What do you do with the extra ones? Is it ok to cause an old man to fall down a flight of stairs? What if he wasn’t your intended target? We’ll explore all of this and more as we get to know a growing family. We'll also learn that not all of your kids are created equally and you should make sure they know that at every turn, more stuff about legs, why little Timmy isn't in school, what not to do with pets, a first love, Blue Danube, getting down with a librarian, and public transportation. @artholespodcast artholespodcast@gmail.com 
120 minutes | Dec 1, 2019
Frida Kahlo Ep 1 of 7: But, First... A Tale of Olmecs, Pulque, and a Pastry War
Frida Kahlo has become a name synonymous with strength and independence. She was born during a crucial time in Mexico’s history and touched the lives of everyone she met.  She also was ridiculously hilarious in the face of horrifying personal events that would crush the average person. Seriously, this is gonna get depressing. To prepare for our series, we’re taking 8,000 years of Mexican history straight to the face. We start with a bunch of rain, then traverse through a confusing calendar system, a necklace of golden shrimps, a not-so-triste-noche, and “utter tragedy and misery.” Also, some art is sprinkled in. Buckle up as we learn about a Spanish king who hates pajamas and exorcisms, the French getting really ornery over baked goods, and America being on-brand with pretty much everything it does. And, then… Revolución!!! Series Main Sources: Ankori, Gannit. Frida Kahlo. London, 2013. Drucker, Malka. Frida Kahlo - Torment and Triumph in her Life and Art. U.S.. 1991. Fehrenbach, T.R. Fire & Blood - A History of Mexico. New York, 1995. Herrera, Hayden. Frida - A Biography of Frida Kahlo. New York, 1982. Kahlo, Frida. The Diary of Frida Kahlo, New York 1995. Kahlo, Frida. Letters to Mama - You Are Always With Me. Mexico City, 2018. Meyer, Michael C. and Sherman, William. The Course of Mexican History (2nd Ed.). Oxford, 1983. Zamora, Martha. Frida Kahlo - The Brush of Anguish. San Francisco, 1990.
58 minutes | Sep 30, 2019
Caravaggio Ep 8 of 8: A Baroque'n Man on the Run (Part 2)
The Don Pepe Incident, a story about Lucy we’d all like to forget, nerd-ceremonies, and a complicated reunion. Then, things get really, really fancy.  We’re finally wrapping up our story in the only way it’ll let us…weirdly. Caravaggio breaks out of prison to reach the one person who will help him. He also makes more bad decisions, paints some stuff, hits the club, and pays the price. @artholespodcast
81 minutes | Sep 5, 2019
Caravaggio Ep 7 of 8: A Baroque'n Man on the Run (Part 1)
In a post-Nooch world, a comparatively short period in Caravaggio’s life is jam-packed with a comparatively large amount ludicrousness, so the finale is now a two-parter. What do you do when you’re on the run for murder? You create some of the most important western art of all time, obvi. Plus, you keep acting like an asshole, because you literally never learn. Caravaggio’s road to redemption is a joyful, nostalgic romp through Europe. It starts with a bribe, veers offtrack due to another Johnny Testicle incident, then gets back on track... until it’s interrupted by a church organist and a pirate gun. Because why wouldn’t it.  Also, there’s stuff about art. @artholespodcast
89 minutes | Jul 24, 2019
Caravaggio Ep 6 of 8: Tennis Balls
Greg Rotolanti, butter, Fillide, sex-wrinkles, a resolute and purposeful “Jenis,” The Nooch, a magic flying house, and tennis. I honestly don’t know what else to say. I for sure lost it on this one. @artholespodcast artholespodcast@gmail.com
64 minutes | Jun 25, 2019
Caravaggio Ep 5 of 8: What'd You Call Me?!
Baglione, Mao, The Nooch... As adversaries emerge, lines are drawn, and words are exchanged. Really, really, ridiculous words with unimaginable fallout. Caravaggio finds a brother figure in Onorio Longhi, even though his actual brother also lives in Rome. Onorio finds his merengue needs unfulfilled, but his hunger for violence satiated. And, Fillide finds out that some moms are checked out a bit early, while some co-workers check in behind your back. Let your porny paintings become more violent, your devotional paintings become more public, and never, EVER let anybody disrespect your Cecco without a reckless attempt at retribution. After all, omnia vincit amore, right? @artholespodcast artholespodcast@gmail.com
59 minutes | May 31, 2019
Caravaggio Ep 4 of 8: Hitting the High Notes
  The new Counter-Reformation mix tape dropped…ya heard? It’s a music-heavy episode, not all of which is appropriate for work. Maybe not everybody’s work, but, most people’s work. Cardinal Del Monte has quite a few guests at the house and people have thoughts. Also, Caravaggio creates some paintings inspired by music, a guy named Francis, and Mario Minitti’s sultry gaze. And, I lash out at more Popes.   Take a listen and learn about some terrible surgeries, a lazy investigation by the sbirri, and some memory problems. We also learn that it’s hard to say goodbye, especially when you know you have to. Because, violence.  
45 minutes | May 1, 2019
Caravaggio Ep 3 of 8: Bringing Lusciousness Back to Caput Mundi
Caravaggio finds a new home after maybe murdering somebody.  But who would take in such a person?  Turns out, lots of people. We’ll learn about Caravaggio’s artistic developments, including one painting that has a surprising connection to the show!  We’ll also learn that sometimes, having your monkey cared for is more important than rebuilding a city. If you were a genre painting, what kind of genre painting would you be?  Would you have bursting figs and succulent cherries?  Would you be a red-wine-drunk sex god? Or would you just steal stuff?  Just let your Soul Glo, meet a few Cardinal-Nephews, keep your lizard where it belongs, and, of course, watch out for horses.
45 minutes | Apr 10, 2019
Caravaggio Ep 2 of 8: Meet the Merisis
How many Caterinas is a sufficient number of Caterinas? What’s the appropriate length of a baby Jesus arm?  Is John of Austria the worst? Does a REAL Catholic uncontrollably vomit? These are the questions we’ll tackle together in order to dig into the beginning of Michaelangelo Merisi’s life and career!  That, and, I butcher Italian names, recklessly valuate the scudo, and justify the imprisonment of homeless people on a moated island (sorta). Manner-isn’t…amirite…?
56 minutes | Mar 13, 2019
Caravaggio Ep 1 of 8: But, First...A Tale of Fish Sandwiches, Butter Towers, and Judas Cradles
One of the greatest and most enigmatic painters, born into an insane time. He was also a complete nightmare. This is the story of a man whose poor behavior was matched only by his ability to capture the human condition. It's also a story of extreme violence, tennis(?), two weird poems, and ridiculous amounts of enabling and privilege. But, first, our story begins away in a manger... It then quickly flies off the rails when some Roman Emperors make bad decisions, a bunch of popes have rough days, and the fallout after the church’s needs outpace its wallet.  
23 minutes | Jan 27, 2019
Jackson Pollock Ep 9 of 9: Death, Sadness, and a Bunch of Math
I feel like the title of this episode really bottom-lines what’s happening here.  Clement Greenberg takes a stand at Jackson’s funeral, Lee doesn’t stand near anyone, and I can’t stand math.  We finally get to talk about what Jackson Pollock’s drip paintings are. And for that, we need the assistance of nerds. So let's watch some ocean waves crash, talk about D ratio with Benoit Mandelbrot, and try to measure a coastline before our brains melt.  A full series is now officially in the books.  I hope everyone had a blast and learned tons of useless information! @artholespodcast artholespodcast@gmail.com
77 minutes | Jan 12, 2019
Jackson Pollock Ep 8 of 9: A Long and Winding Road
Jackson begins to scare even the most grizzled of Bonacker, Lee starts to assert her independence, and we meet a man named Bootie. So have a chat with a secret prostitute at the Cedar Tavern, discover that sex symbols can come from the unlikeliest of places, and don’t forget to drink your health juice.  Also, we learn more about 1950 East Hampton than you ever wanted to know, an old woman gets treated like a ping pong ball, and Harold Rosenberg writes an article that nobody understands. @artholespodcast artholespodcast@gmail.com
50 minutes | Dec 19, 2018
Jackson Pollock Ep 7 of 9: Mrs. Schaefer and the Barbiturates
This episode flies off the rails.  Roger $%#$@ Wilcox comes front and center and there’s also a crazy brawl in a mud pit. Jackson becomes ridiculously famous, drops a bunch of c-bombs, and somebody makes a critical post-colostomy decision in Connecticut (of all places). Get ready to deal with a terrible spinach analogy, General Patton (I get distracted), a guy named Ron, and Hans Namuth pushing Jackson over the edge.  So take a bunch of barbiturates, ask Bertha Schaefer inappropriately aggressive and personal questions, and get ready for a family reunion! @artholespodcast artholespodcast@gmail.com
42 minutes | Dec 5, 2018
Jackson Pollock Ep 6 of 9: Dribbles, Drips, and Dropping Loads of Paint
In this episode, Jackson finally gets to explore a part of himself that he hasn’t really figured out yet.  Also, we’ll learn about the old ‘murican policy of “if you do hair, you can’t do war” and a fabulously blue discharge that was for a not-so-fabulous reason.  And, Peggy puts the moves on Jackson.  It goes exactly how you think it would. As we traverse through the PUT THE @%$#%@ HAMMER DOWN!!!! tranquility of Springs, we learn about the Bonackers, Jungle Pete’s, Jackson’s new best friend (who’s alarmingly like his old best friend), and finally get to the painting technique that would eventually make Jackson famous.  So toss a couple back at George’s Tavern on 7th before we take a trip to P-Town...but don’t lose your head over it... @artholespodcast
35 minutes | Nov 23, 2018
Jackson Pollock Ep 5 of 9: European, Schmuropean
In this art-heavy episode, we'll work through cubism, surrealism, being too old for stuff, and the inner workings of Jackson’s penis.  Lee and Jackson figure out how to do the dating thing, while the French do Frenchie things in New York.  Jackson’s art takes a giant leap, but people aren’t exactly sure what to make of it. So grab your paintbrushes, allow automatism to take over, get that money, and let Howard Putzel give your career a jump-start!  We learn something new about Jackson in this episode and do a bit of dive on Peggy Guggenheim and her...interesting?...taste in men.  Ugh, and more wild west nonsense. But, this time, it’s for a pretty cool result...
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