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HAPPY HALLOWEEN! What’s scarier than the notion of another hour and forty minutes in Tom Six’s ‘shocking’ ‘button-pushing’ mind? We’re watching Eric Roberts in a prison-set Centipede movie, and finding anything to talk about whilst what technically counts as video synced to audio running over 70 minutes, and thus is a feature film, plays out. Not worth watching along with us, just listen and play trivia games like a normal podcast. Commentary begins at 00:07:43

First off, legally we can only watch the UK Cut version so there may be sync problems at times due to, ya know, the original cut being rejected over where we record. Johnny recalls his FrightFest experiences with this film and Laurence R. Harvey, while Andrew spends most of the time playing games because there’s literally nothing in this film to discuss besides ‘Mike Leigh coulda made something with this’. Commentary begins at 00:11:44

Halloween season is here, and Johnny’s dreams are coming true. Andrew is surgically attached to a microphone to watch the first of three movies Tom Six dared to dream about putting people arse to mouth in order to craft some sort of us-species insectoid. Erm… Good luck? Commentary begins at 00:11:34

Cage March ends with a second dose of Benjamin Franklin Gates, this time we’re dealing with Dame Helen Mirren having to fall back in love with Jon Voight, just why is Ty Burrell here, and what’s the deal with the upcoming series, is it going to be Gates-based? We’re done, at least, with treasure protecting for the moment.

Christina Aguilera is still hanging around Nashville as her character Jade St. John, the pop star looking for country music legitimacy, but at the Bluebird that’s only ever one story being told. This week sees the potential for a new liver transplant, a big charity gala, band auditions, a li’l bit of gay sex and a lot of Daphne Conrad without any of her family to help her perform. Only Andrew and Johnny can navigate waters as deep and soapy as these.

It’s time to steal the Declaration Of Independence as Cage March rolls onto Bruckheimer Blockbuster Season. Johnny has fond but fleeting memories of the adventure movie, but Andrew staunchly fears it’s not as good and fun as all the loud film twitter folk keep insisting it is. How will time tell us all?

Juliette has a baby name! And it’s been 3 weeks. Avery and Scarlett and Gunner’s band are doing an interview! And it’s been 3 weeks. Deacon and Rayna are living together! And it’s been 3 weeks. Jeff is being Layla’s manager! And it’s been 3 weeks. Maddie and Colton are dating and Andrew has the inside scoop! And it’s been 3 weeks. Johnny and Andrew are taking the Bluebird to the London O2 for Country2Country this weekend! And it’s been 3 years.

Pour one out for our thespian Nic Cage as he wins an Oscar bloating and stumbling to a decidedly devastating end, whilst Elisabeth Shue suffers so much throughout. Johnny takes his first stroll through, Andrew meanwhile faces up to watching a film he never wanted to return to. Heavy heavy stuff.

Juliette’s baby shower is thwarted by a murder, a cancer, a tour and some private investigations. Andrew details Johnny’s nefarious backstory, Johnny reminds us of how you cannot simply steal nail polish, and eventually everyone gets along with the popular TV show Nashville.

It’s CAGE MARCH (Cage Madness) and we’re kicking off with Ridley Scott’s con artist drama featuring a dancing Sam Rockwell and Bruce McGill. Andrew and Johnny talk a trip to see The Godfather, Nic Cage pops in for a spot of thespian chat and The Upcoming Oscar Fan Favourite poll is brought into discussion.

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of opening a fresh episode of Nashville and smelling the aromas inside. This week, with Season 3 Episode 16, the familiar scents include Rayna and Deacon in their remote home together, Gunnar, Scarlett and Avery on the road, two more recent characters randomly meeting to pad a run time, and Juliette Barnes in Facetime: The Shot Three Scenes In Two Hours Story.

It’s a late night recording for Andrew and Johnny, as they take a look at perfect goddess Rose Byrne’s career, and discuss Hugh Dancy’s Will Graham performance. There’s tangents aplenty in reminiscing about 2000s twinkly indie music, space room decorations and Peter Gallagher’s eyebrows (OH MAN).

Rayna’s celebrating 10 years of being part of The Grand Ole Opry with a concert, whilst Layla and Jeff plan Layla Grant’s next career move, Scarlett goes on a Doctor Date and, hey, why don’t Avery and Gunnar spend an episode thinking of band names? Don’t fret, Andrew regails us with memories of his friendship with Colton ‘Colt’ Wheeler, a young man Andrew has had the pleasure of witnessing at the breakfast table wearing a baseball cap. That’s real intimate friendship there.

Things get raw in a strange episode, Andrew is spiraling and considers which Muppets are hanging back at an orgy, whilst Johnny considers Rowan Atkinson’s comedy iconography. In the end who will be on Topper and who will be Harley there at all?

Goodbye Edgehill-brick road, where the beancounters of Harvard hound. You can’t plant me in your record label, I’m going back to Nashville! There’s a huge fallout when the big label is disbanded, every artist is up for grabs, and somehow Jeff Fordham the bean counter from Harvard has sparked a love affair with the way-too-young woman he pushed to near-suicide just weeks ago. Andrew dives deep into his own bad-time-at-a-job experiences, and Johnny runs through so many different storylines in this packed episode about a packed episode.

There are those out there who can fly, then there are those that can fly well, then of course there are those who can fly the best. This is a podcast about a film about those people. Andrew’s childhood comedy bible is brought to Johnny on a plate, wherein discussions of Charlie Sheen’s career, body horror in cinema and the film Top Gun help pad a run time. Topper Harley Forever!

Happy 2022, we’re dusting off the old year with a watch of Season 3 Episode 13 of Nashville, featuring Deacon’s sadsack cancer prognosis, Avery the producer being micro-managed by Bucky with the no hair, Rayna versus Jeff Fordham, the bean counter from Harvard, over who has daughter Maddie’s musical contract, and hey for good measure why not a new addition to the Bungalow Bachelor Boys? It’s all happening in Tennessee this week.

Well, look, we’re embarrassed. We were certain that covering Roar instead of Raw was a one-off, and we were gonna watch the Palme D’or winning Titane this week, but… Disney+ didn’t have it, I was misled, and so we watch Don Bluth’s mega-flop 2D-3D hybrid space animation. In our defense, it has a gender-fluid lead, a bunch of crazy people together believing this person to be someone they aren’t and a prologue with childhood trauma, so it’s basically the same film as Titane, ok?

As 2021 closes up, Andrew and Johnny look back at the year’s episodes, the good, the bad and the forgotten entirely. It’s a chill overview of year 5 of the podcast, a good way to get settled in to the next run of the show if you’re wanting an entry point.

Happy holidays to all! Johnny and Andrew are back in-person, and opening presents, as they watch their favourite film of 2021, talking Sondheim, Cats, Lin-Manuel Miranda, adventures in Oslo, Vanessa Hudgens’ filmography and also a nice pop-in of friend of the show Richard Kind. Come join the fun by syncing up with the film on Netflix, the commentary starts at 00:18:29