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This episode has got more slaps than a bottle of ketchup at an all-night diner! Join Robert and Ira, along with their special guest film professor Eric Swelstad, as they discuss THE OSCARS and CHRIS ROCK: SELECTIVE OUTRAGE, and share their top slap movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a famous comedian who gets slapped at the Academy Awards, and one year later you decide it’s time to present your comedy special where you talk about our need for attention and being a victim and the Kardashians and you finally talk about the joke you said last year and how Will Smith thought it was funny but when he looked at his wife, he snapped and stormed on stage and slapped the shit out of you, and you blame Will’s wife for the brouhaha because she’s a thug and had sex with her son’s friend and Will had to be all macho and shit, and now one year later you’re finally lashing back, then this podcast is for you!

Did you know that the bear in this week’s movie was once owned by Tom Sizemore? The crew didn’t even have to provide drugs for the animal. It was method acting. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss COCAINE BEAR and share their top five … surprise movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a big-ass bear living in the woods and a shit load of cocaine falls from the sky and you eat it and get fucking cray-cray and kill people, and you attack a cute hiker in shorts and white socks and rip her apart and eat her, and you terrorize a girl and boy, and then you attack and devour a couple of forest rangers, and while the girl’s mother searches for her daughter, you go after the drug smugglers who are there to find the missing bags of cocaine, and everyone thinks you’re dead but you’ve only collapsed on this dude and your vagina is in his face - that’s right, you’re a female bear - and you climb a tree going after the boy but then you rush to the other tree because the dude has cocaine and you bite off some of his fingers, and you have little baby cubs who are also wasted but cute and there’s a big standoff at a waterfall at night with the fucked up bear, the mother and her daughter and the boy and the stoned cubs, then this podcast is for you!

We couldn’t have a change of body, so we settled for a change of scenery in this episode. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss SECONDS and share their top ‘body change’ movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a middle-age banker with a wife and daughter and your life is mundane and without passion, and you get a phone call from an old friend who tells you to go to a laundry and the man there sends you to a meatpacking factory and you go into a room where a man explains how you will have a new appearance and a new life and your old self will die in a hotel fire while he eats chicken and then blackmails you, and this other old dude convinces you to sign, so you have the surgery and you are now a young hunk of a man and you become an artist and you move into a cool house in Malibu and your butler wants you to meet your neighbors and you hook up with a sexy woman who takes you to a weird-ass hippie party with lots of grapes and wine and you host a party and get drunk off your ass and nearly blow your cover, and you visit the woman who was your wife and you want to go back to the way you were and you meet the guy who got you into this big mess and things really spiral and become a major cluster fuck, then this podcast is for you!

Everyone warned us that this movie only takes place in one location. But when they said Brendan Fraser sits around the house, they really meant he sits around the house! Join Robert and Ira as they discuss THE WHALE and share their top fat movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be mega huge and morbidly enormous - I mean, we’re talking a gigantic slob of a man with rolls of fat - and you’re a writing teacher and you’re gay, and you left your wife to fuck a male student who died, and your daughter and ex-wife are uber-pissed, and your caregiver, who is also your best friend and your only friend, watches as you shove hunks of chicken and pizza into your mouth, and you Zoom with your writing students and tell them to be honest when they write but your camera is turned off, and your daughter shows up and she’s an angry bitch and she wants you to pay her to visit you and write her school essays, and a religious dude drops by who tries to get you to embrace God, and then your ex-wife shows up and she’s a piece of work, and you tell your bitchy and manipulative daughter to write anything as long as it’s honest and when you Zoom with your students you turn your camera on and show them your disgustingly fat body, and your daughter forces you to stand up and walk toward her and you die, then this podcast is for you!

The last time Robert and Ira climbed a mega-tower, Ira said, “This view is breathtaking!" Robert replied, "Yeah, and it would be even better if we weren't standing on the bottom rung of the ladder!” Join Robert and Ira as they discuss FALL and share their top stuck movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be rock climbing with your husband and he falls to his death, so you get drunk and lash out at your dad and you can’t move on with your life, but your girlfriend talks you into climbing a tall radio tower and you’re scared shitless but up you go, then at the top the rusty ladder gives way and you and your BFF are stuck up there with no cell reception because you’re up too high, so you lower your cell phone on a string but that doesn’t work, and you look down and see some punks steal your car, and you find out your BFF was fucking your sweetie and your leg is all fucked up and crows are trying to eat you, then your BFF lowers herself to reach for a drone but the battery is dead, so you climb up to the very top with its blinking red light, unscrew the bulb, and use that to charge the drone, and the small plane flies to get help but just before it lands, it gets hit by a truck, and it turns out you were hallucinating and your BFF is dead, and you eat a vulture, shimmy down to your dead BFF, stuff the cell phone into her carcass and toss her off the tower, then this podcast is for you!

This week’s movie really ‘bridges the gap’ between audiences and high critical acclaim! Join Robert and Ira as they discuss CAUSEWAY and share their top change of behavior movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a female soldier stationed in Afghanistan and you got fucked up in the head with mental issues and you go back to your small town and clean swimming pools and meet a black dude and you hang out together and smoke pot and he’s kinda into you and you tell him you’re gay and he asks if you’ll move in with him, but you want to get all better so you can go back to Afghanistan, and when you’re in a swimming pool and the black dude tells you a very personal story, you kiss him but only because you feel sorry for him, so he’s all pissed and then you decide not to go back to Afghanistan and you ask the dude if you could move in with him, then this podcast is for you!

This week’s episode comes at you hard, liked a runaway train… Join Robert and Ira as they discuss DEERWOODS DEATHTRAP and share their top train movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a parent and you’re recounting a story about how 50 years ago, you, your spouse, your four-year-old son, your infant daughter, and your elderly mother are driving a car over train tracks and your car gets stuck and a big ass locomotive is hurling toward you and your family and - boom! - the train slams into your car, and if listeners want to find out what happened to you and all the members of your family packed into the car, then they can either watch the 9-minute movie or listen to this podcast!

What kind of amateur tries to break into the porn industry and only stops at two dicks in the butt? Gotta go three, at least. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss PLEASURE and share their top ‘in-over-their-head’ movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a hot sexy blonde from Sweden who comes to Los Angeles to be a porn star, and you go to photo shoots and parties and try to be an A-list porn actress but get rejected and you do some BDSM hard-core shit and get slapped and spit on so you leave your manager and call your mom and walk along the beach, and you get fucked in the ass by a couple of black dudes, but when you wear a collar and a leash, you kinda throw your roommate under the bus and she tosses you out of the house, and you go to a major porn expo in Vegas and get humiliated because a hot brunette says your pussy smells so you grab a strap on dildo and fuck her, and then you tell the driver to stop the car and you get out, then this podcast is for you!

This episode may seem like it’s a mess, but trust me, it’s all going accordion to plan. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss WEIRD: THE AL YANKOVIC STORY and share their top 5 weird movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a weird kid who likes to make up goofy lyrics to songs, but both of your parents think you’re freaking nuts, but mom buys you an accordion anyway, and you meet this DJ who becomes your manager and invites you to a pool party and all your heroes are there including Divine, Pee-wee Herman, and Tiny Tim, and your novelty song with your goofy lyrics gets played on the radio and Madonna hits on you so her songs will be more popular with your goofy lyrics but Michael Jackson takes your “original” song and does his own version of it, and you and Madonna go to some Third World country with lots of trees and meet with a drug lord, then you drink a lot, have a meltdown, turn on your bandmates, drink more, crash your car and almost die, and your dad explains his backstory, he grew up in an Amish community and also played the accordion and got ridiculed, so he didn’t want you to go through all that shit, and then you perform at a huge concert packed with cheering fans and the drug lord kills you, then this podcast is for you!

This week’s episode is perfect for a long road trip! Join Robert and Ira as they discuss WATCH OUT, WE’RE MAD! and share their top 5 comma titles.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be one of two brothers, and you were pissed at each other, but after 25 years you put aside your grudges and reunite to get back what you care about the most: your father’s beloved dune buggy which was stolen from you both many years ago, and you hang out in a circus and meet a mean fucker who slaps your face a lot and a hot brunette who throws knives at you, and you and your brother have a big fight, but you make up and become even closer, and there is a big fight in a swimming pool with a bunch of baddies, and just when you finally reclaim your father’s beloved dune buggy, the hot brunette steals it and drives it away, then this podcast is for you!

I haven’t seen this much presidential dick sucking since Bill Clinton added his signature chowder to Lewinsky’s dress. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss BLONDE and share their top 5 zaftig ladies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a really hot sexy blonde and your mom beats you and your daddy left you and you want to be an actress, and the Hollywood execs fuck you and you have a threesome and you make some movies and get super popular when you stand on a subway grate and the wind blows up and makes your white dress billow out, and you marry a popular baseball player and then you try again with a successful playwright who wrote “The Crucible” but that also doesn’t work out too well even though you call them both “daddy,” and you visit your mom in a mental institution and bathe her and you take lots of pills and shit and you suck the dick of the President of the United States and he rapes you and you decide to take even more pills to end it all, then his podcast is for you!

The last time Robert and Ira were hired to find a long-lost son in a foreign country, they ended up in Shanghai with a scorching case of herpes. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY and share their top 5 Matt Damon movies… again.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a dude who has the uncanny ability to impersonate people, not only with your looks which blend into others, but also with your mannerisms and voice which you use to mimic people, and when the father of a son who lives in Italy pays you $1000 to go there and bring his kid home, you go to Italy and assume the identity of the son’s former college buddy, and the handsome son and his hot girlfriend buy into it, and then when you’re on the water in a canoe with him, you pick up an oar and conk him over the head and kill him, but you don’t tell the hot girlfriend what you did, and you keep up the charade assuming the identities of the handsome son and others, and along the way you kill an obnoxious dude who was taunting you, and when the hot girlfriend suspects you killed her honey, she yells at you and hits you hard with her purse and then you strangle a dude and get away with it, then this podcast is for you!

Ironic that this week’s show is hosted by the two guys who don’t ever have a clue. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss CLUE and share their top 5 ‘whodunit’ movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be part of a group of zany eccentric people trapped in an old mansion greeted by a butler and a hot sexy maid with humongous breasts, and everyone is given names such as Colonel Mustard, Mrs. White, and Mr. Green, and you’re all being blackmailed and when the lights are switched off, one of you is killed and then another, and everyone is behaving over-the-top wacky as things get even more complicated and convoluted, and the butler figures it out and crazily runs around the mansion like a psycho rushing from room to room while you and everyone else rush around with him while he manically explains whodunit and why, not only once, not twice, but three fucking times, then this podcast is for you!

If you need dating advice, the cohosts of Anti-wave are available for training… for a fee. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss TRAINING WHEELS and share their top 5 date movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a chick who is kinda introverted and insecure and you’ve got a hot date in a few days, and so you hire a dude to date so you can practice how to not be weird, and you rehearse everything from small talk to having sex with him to prepare for the big night, and you discover things about yourself as he opens up and shares his own Insecurities and issues, and you both learn about yourselves from this experience and you have your big hot date which turns out to be a big dud and you realize you’re more comfortable being with your practice date, then this podcast is for you!

Take it from us, this episode 6000 SUX! Join Robert and Ira as they discuss ROBOCOP and share their top 5 cop movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a new cop on the beat in a futuristic and fucked up Detroit, and when you’re patrolling with your cute lady partner, you come across some major asshole thugs, and the main bad dude fires a shit load of bullets into you, and a corporation that supposedly wants to rid the city of crime and vermin, turns you into a robot and now you’re all metal and shit, and when you go to the house you used to live in with your wife and kid, you start to remember who you were, and with your cute lady partner you come across the gang that fucked you up, and the head asshole who riddled you with bullets says he’s in cahoots with the head honcho at that corporation and he falls into a vat of acid, and you go back to the corporation headquarters, but there’s a directive built into your operating system that won’t allow you to kill the evil corporate dude, so the other head corporate dude fires the bad guy, and you riddle him with bullets and he falls through the window and plummets to his death and you come to accept who you are, then this podcast is for you!

Back in the ‘80s, Ira fucked Jan-Michael Vincent in the butt just so he could say he was in-famous. Burn!!! Join Robert and Ira as they discuss ANDREW SCHULZ: INFAMOUS and share their top 5 sick burns (bro).  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be an obscure somewhat underground comedian who is also the funniest fuckin’ standup performer today, and you talk about everything including Trump, Michael Jackson, serial killer shows, the Middle East, black face, oral sex, anal sex, abortion, pussy, and cum, and you make fun of absolutely everyone, and you’re edgy and raw and you spew a shit load of profanity, and the audience howls at your jokes especially when it’s aimed at them, then this podcast is for you!

Truth be told, Robert and Ira both like their movies how they like their apples: hardcore. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss HARDCORE HENRY and share their top 5 POV shots.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to wake up and your wife says she loves you and explains you are now a half cyborg with mechanical limbs, no memory, you can’t talk, and you need your battery charged, and you dodge people who are trying to kill you by running up stairs, darting through back alleys, jumping on rooftops, and you find yourself in cars, tanks, submarines, helicopters, and in a brothel filled with hot whores, and the only person helping you dies and comes back to life looking different and then dies again and comes back to life looking different and so on, and then you see this dude as he really is, a cripple in a wheelchair, and the main bad dude can make things fly in the air, and the woman who says she’s your wife and loves you turns out to be the bad dude’s wife, and as she dangles from a helicopter, you slam the door on her hands and the lying bitch plunges to her death, then this podcast is for you!

If I had to dance with either of these jackasses for 60 days straight, I’d ask to have my brains blown out, too! Join Robert and Ira as they discuss THEY SHOOT HORSES, DON’T THEY? and share their top 5 dance movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a nice enough guy who’s kind of a nebbish who is in a dance marathon during the Depression in hopes of winning the $1500 cash prize, and you’re paired off with a free-thinking pistol of a gal, and some exhausted dancers are eliminated, and you sleep and shower in the back rooms of the dance hall, and you do the nasty with a blonde floozy and then your dance partner fools around with some dude and she doesn’t want to be partners with you anymore, but she can’t dance alone, so she dances with you anyway, and when the tired as fuck dancers must walk rapidly around the dance floor because the last three couples will be eliminated, one of the dancers has a heart attack and dies, and the slimy promoter who is also the emcee urges your dance partner to marry you for the publicity because even if she wins the marathon, he tells her she’ll have to pay a bunch of expenses, and she’s despondent as fuck and begs you to shoot her in the head, then this podcast is for you!

Cheerio, mate! Ira’s nickname in high school was ‘The Joke Bloke’, so this week’s episode hits really hard for him. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss Ricky Gervais’ SUPERNATURE and share their top 5 funny blokes.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a British stand-up comic who is also an actor, writer, and an award show host, and you talk about how stupid we are with everything from supernatural nonsense to spoiling your cats, and you go on about trannies and shit, and some people love you for speaking the truth, and some people hate you and want you canceled, and you keep telling us you’re rich and tell us how nature itself is actually super, and then you talk more shit like when someone was cremated and the wind blew her ashes in your face and it tasted bitter, it must’ve been her clitoris, and you can’t help but laugh, not at the jokes but at how batshit crazy we humans are, then this podcast is for you!

I remember when Robert and Ira tried to homestead. They made it as far as the edge of town before Ira started trying to have sex with the farm animals and Robert resorted to cannibalism. Life on the range is a toughie, for sure. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss TERROR ON THE PRAIRIE and share their top 5 women with guns movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a frontier woman living in a cabin with your unemployed hubby, a son, and a crying baby, and when your hubby leaves to find work, a group of psychopathic killers with a ringleader who likes to quote Bible scriptures while scalping a sorry bastard comes to your home asking for water, and you offer to make them breakfast, and you spot the scalped head on the horse and pull out a rifle and order them to leave, but they’re majorly pissed and gunfire erupts and there’s a standoff and they slaughter the family cow, and when you set fire to the cabin to signal help, a friendly neighbor comes by and gets his throat slashed, and one of the sickos offers to help you escape, but you know it’s a set up so you shoot him, and you cut another bad guy’s face and escape with your two kids and cross the river and they get you but your son and baby escape, then your hubby shows up and they want him for revenge for something he did during the Civil War, and you agree to be gang raped if they spare your hubby and you kill the rapist, and when the ringleader is about to kill your hubby, you kill him, and with only one crazy-assed psychopathic killer left, your hubby shoots him, then this podcast is for you!