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Flusterclux: Fix Anxiety With Lynn Lyons LICSW
26 minutes | 2 days ago
Social Anxiety, Teens, And A Pandemic
If you have an anxious tween or teen who didn't like joining in before, how do you support them in a pandemic with remote learning? And another parent asks about her six year old's struggles with blaming others and finding friends. What do you say to the child who says, "Nobody likes me?" Books mentioned in this episode:Playing With Anxiety by Lynn Lyons and Reid WilsonOutsmarting Worry by Dawn HuebnerDavid Gets In Trouble by David ShannonManage Your Kids' Screen TimeThe Circle lets you set daily limits for different apps and social media. It also controls your kid's Wi Fi schedules, and you can adjust age appropriate filters for searches from little kids to teens. Our affiliate link will get you $20 off a Circle. Join the Flusterclux Facebook group so that you can ask your question on a future episode.New episodes arrive Friday at 12:00AM EST. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram.Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube.
41 minutes | 9 days ago
Unpacking your family's baggage about anger, grief, and worry
Just because your Thanksgiving table will have empty chairs this year, doesn't mean that your family's dynamics aren't with you.What did you learn about handling anger, sadness, and worry as a child from your family? How does that affect your parenting? We unpack our family baggage in this episode to see how we can stop dysfunctional generational patterns and give our kids the space for healthy feelings.This is an updated version of a previous episode (#10) about three of the most powerful patterns that shape not just our relationships with our families, partners, children, and friends but the world outside our homes.Lynn walks us through the very big sweet spot where we want to be modeling for our kids healthy emotional management and examples of the extremes to avoid. Manage Your Kids' Screen TimeThe Circle lets you set daily limits for different apps and social media. It also controls your kid's Wi Fi schedules, and you can adjust age appropriate filters for searches from little kids to teens. Our affiliate link will get you $20 off a Circle. Join the Flusterclux Facebook group so that you can ask your question on a future episode.New episodes arrive Friday at 12:00AM EST. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram.Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube.
31 minutes | 16 days ago
Reassurance Traps: How to Know When Anxiety Is In Control
"It'll be okay." "Everything will be fine." "I'm right here."Our kids turned to us for reassurance, and anxious kids ask for a lot of it. When we tell them everything will be fine, it feels like the right thing to do in the moment. But is it? How does our well-meaning reassurance interfere with our children developing critical psychological skills? And what should we do instead?We'll answer that question in this week's episode of Flusterclux with Lynn Lyons, the show for real talk about worry and other big feelings in parenting.Lynn Lyons 0:32 Hi, I'm Lynn Lyons. I'm an anxiety expert, speaker, Mom and author. I've been a therapist for 30 years.Robin Hutson 0:38 You're here because your family has some anxiety issues, or you want to prevent them. I'm your co-host and Lynn's sister in law, Robin, and I'm here to ask your questions.Lynn Lyons 0:47 Parenting can be a Flusterclux, and I'll help you find your way.There are so many things that we do for our kids, things that are loving and caring and supportive. Things that feel intuitive. Things that we know make our kids feel better. Oh, but if you've heard me talk about these things, oftentimes when it comes to worry and anxiety, there are a few of these things that get a little bit tricky, a little bit sticky. And we're going to talk about one of those. Today, we're going to talk about reassurance.Watch the What I know What I don't Know video on Lynn's Facebook page of her explaining the game.Manage Your Kids' Screen TimeThe Circle lets you set daily limits for different apps and social media. It also controls your kid's Wi Fi schedules, and you can adjust age appropriate filters for searches from little kids to teens. Our affiliate link will get you $20 off a Circle. Join the Flusterclux Facebook group so that you can ask your question on a future episode.New episodes arrive Friday at 12:00AM EST. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram.Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube.
34 minutes | 23 days ago
What I Wish Everyone Knew About Gratitude
We'll hear a lot of hype about gratitude with the holidays coming. We'll go over how gratitude is proven to help you and how you may have been thinking about it all wrong. What are gratitude's powers? And what are its limits? And one listener asks what to do for her usually studious freshman, who's suddenly indifferent to high school and grades this year. Recommended talks on gratitudeBrian Doyle, 365 Days of Thank youLouie Schwartzberg, Nature. Beauty. Gratitude.Laura Tice, Remember to Say Thank YouMichael Norton, How to Buy Happiness Manage Your Kids' Screen TimeThe Circle lets you set daily limits for different apps and social media. It also controls your kid's Wi Fi schedules, and you can adjust age appropriate filters for searches from little kids to teens. Our affiliate link will get you $20 off a Circle. Robin reads Lynn a listener question on what to do for a usually studious freshman who's suddenly indifferent to high school and grades this year.Join the Flusterclux Facebook group so that you can ask your question on a future episode and to learn more about the origins of Chip and Dale and the Chippendale dancers.New episodes arrive Friday at 12:00AM EST. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram.Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube.
33 minutes | a month ago
Listeners Ask: Difficult Mothers-in-law and Middle School Slobs
When your middle schooler is the opposite of a perfectionist— dirty hair, dirty room, indifference to academics, we discuss. And how do you parent your anxious kids in front of unsupportive in-laws? We’ll answer that question in this week’s episode of Flusterclux with Lynn Lyons, the show for real talk about worry and other big feelings in parenting.1:01 Robin asks Lynn a question from a listener who was reacting to the perfectionism episode a few shows back. Her middle schooler is the opposite of a perfectionist embracing sloppiness and mediocrity.14:53 Lynn references Robin’s travel website Luxe Recess. 18:57 Robin shares why she uses a circle to manage her kids screen time. Our affiliate link will get you $20 off a Circle. 17:41 Robin reads a listener question about a mother-in-law who is unsupportive and passive aggressive.19:38 Lynn references her mentor Michael Yapko and his saying there’s a difference between something that impacts you personally, and something that you have to take personally.26:26 Robin references Lynn’s books and videos as resources for parents and grandparents to get on the same page helping an anxious child. 29:46 Join the Flusterclux Facebook group, so that you can ask your question on a future episode.New episodes arrive Friday at 12:00AM EST. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram.Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube.
38 minutes | a month ago
How to prevent depression and understand your risk factors
Winter is coming; let's talk about how to prevent depression. While 2020 has put anxiety center stage, there are risk factors that can bring about depression, too. What are they? And if you have them, what can you do? We'll answer that question in this week's episode of Flusterclux with Lynn Lyons, the show for real talk about worry and other big feelings in parenting.15:16 Lynn references Michael Yapko, one of her professional mentors.29:17 Robin reads a listener question about a 13-year-old who sought treatment for social anxiety in the past. Since COVID, she’s become more withdrawn, eating less and just not interested in going anywhere. How does one know if she really is fine or if it’s more serious like depression.38:46 So, join the Flusterclux Facebook group so that you have an opportunity to ask Lynn, your question for an upcoming episode. And that’s Flusterclux with an X.SUGGESTED READING LISTBreaking the Patterns of Depression by Michael YapkoAdvice I Ignored: Stories and Wisdom from a Formerly Depressed Teenager by Ruby WalkerFeeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety by David BurnsNew episodes arrive Friday at 12:00AM EST. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram.Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube.
34 minutes | 2 months ago
Election Anxiety: How Not to Scar Your Kids
:40 Lynn cites the American Psychological Association research, 68% of adults say currently that the election is “a significant source of stress.”19:39 Lynn references a past episode that talks about when parents argue and model a resolution verses the vitriol of political debates among family members.29:04 And Robin recommends all three seasons of Long Way Up starring Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman as an antidote for election anxiety.30:22 Lynn recommends the Dolly Parton documentary Here I Am on Netflix.32:20 please join the Flusterclux Facebook group. And we want to let our listeners know that we are switching our schedule, and new episodes arrive Friday at 12:00AM EST. Episode 27 arrives October 23rd.Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram.Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube.
34 minutes | 2 months ago
How to Find A Good Child Therapist For Your Kid's Anxiety
1:13 We’re going to do a progress report for students this fall.4:04 HOW TO SUPPORT YOUNG LEARNERS THIS FALL7:15 MIDDLE SCHOOLERS AND REMOTE LEARNING13:01 HIGH SCHOOL, COLLEGE, and ACADEMIC PRESSURE17:56 Our affiliate link will get you $20 off a Circle to manage your kids’ screen time at home. 18:22 A LISTENER QUESTION: THE CHILD THERAPIST RELATIONSHIP“I have a 17 year old daughter with general and social anxiety that is seeing a licensed mental health professional for about nine months now. I’ve now realized this professional is not making any headway with my daughter’s anxiety. How do I end the relationship with this therapist? My daughter does like her, and 1) find a new therapist that can truly help my daughter and 2) not cause my daughter’s anxiety to go into a tailspin with a new therapist and possibly damage our relationship.”24:59 WHAT TO ASK A CHILD THERAPIST FOR ANXIETYLynn goes over the questions parents should ask any potential therapist for their child. She goes over recommended approaches for anxiety and OCD. 27:36 Robin and Lynn discuss their obsession with watching Masterclass lessons.33:22 Join the Facebook group so that you can ask Lynn your question on future episodes.Follow Flusterclux on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.
32 minutes | 2 months ago
Parenting, Perfectionism, and Anxiety: How We Reward Something Toxic
1:09 Lynn describes the connection of perfectionism and anxiety in adults and kids she treats and suggests parents start looking at themselves and the messages around perfectionism they are sending.Robin references the book The Conscious Bride.11:23 Lynn mentions the episode when she refers to the marital snort.13:52 Lynn discusses the connection between perfectionism and procrastination and signs of perfectionism in children.23:30The Circle is what we use to manage our kids’ screen time. Our affiliate link will get you $20 off a circle device for your home.23:37 Robin reads a listener question for Lynn to answer about two girls who have anxiety of getting shots.31:03 Robin references the co-parenting episode in relation to loading the dishwasher.32:03 We talk about family silliness and the idea of embracing the messy33:14 We encourage you to join our Facebook group so that you can submit a question for a future episode with Lynn.
36 minutes | 3 months ago
Hope After A Teen Anxiety and Depression Diagnosis
Join the Flusterclux Facebook group so that you can ask your question on a future episode.Suggested ReadingDon't Say That Depression Is Caused by a Chemical ImbalanceStressors and chemical imbalances: Beliefs about the causes of depression in an acute psychiatric treatment sample.Suggested ViewingLynn Lyons' Teen Anxiety and Depression WebinarMichael Yapko's Keys to Unlock Depression: Why Skills Work Better Than Pills
29 minutes | 3 months ago
When You Should Get Your Child A Depression or Anxiety Diagnosis
1:00 Lynn provides an overview of getting a child a mental health diagnosis and asks th4e questions all parents should consider. How do you get one? Do you need one?8:26 Lynn explains the right way to think about a diagnosis and its role in treating a child or teen. She explains a child’s diagnosis is often a family diagnosis and references the book Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents that give families a roadmap after an anxiety diagnosis.She talks about how a depression, anxiety or ADHD diagnosis affects all members of the family and how to stop accommodating the diagnosis.12:47 We talk about siblings of the diagnosed child and how they experience the disorder.17:28 Robin talks about why she love her Circle to manage screen time with her kids. Our affiliate link will get you $20 off of a Circle.18:10 Robin reads a listener question by a parent who is married to someone with anxiety and depression that has increased from the stress of two children, one with special needs and work.Lynn shares references for couples therapy: Michelle Wiener-Davis, and Terry Real.ADDITIONAL BOOKS AND PODCASTS FOR PARENTS WITH SPECIAL NEEDS KIDSShut Up About Your Perfect Kid: A Survival Guide for Ordinary Parents of Special ChildrenShut Up About Your Perfect Kid PodcastThe Mama Bear podcastJoin the Flusterclux Facebook group so that you can ask Lynn a question in a future episode. The podcast launched with the temporary name A Mom's Retreat in April 2020 for its pilot season.Find us at flusterclux.comhttps://www.facebook.com/flustercluxhttps://www.instagram.com/flusterclux/
1 minutes | 3 months ago
Welcome to Flusterclux: Fix Anxiety With Lynn Lyons LICSW
Parenting isn't easy in the best of circumstances, and 2020 will challenge every parent to support the emotional health of their kids and themselves. Flusterclux represents that feeling of overwhelm and tells parents how to better manage their worry and big feelings like anger and sadness so that they are modeling healthy emotional awareness.Lynn Lyons, therapist, author, and speaker is one of the world's experts on helping parents, kids, and teens manage anxiety. She talks with co-host and sister-in-law Robin Hutson in a weekly podcast free of psychobabble and full of concrete advice. In each episode, Lynn answers listener questions and gives parents concrete strategies for developing the traits that are their kids' best defenses against anxiety and depression later in life: flexibility, resilience, autonomy, and problem solving.Find us atflusterclux.comhttps://www.facebook.com/flustercluxhttps://www.instagram.com/flusterclux/ The podcast launched with the temporary name A Mom's Retreat in April 2020 for its pilot season.Find us at flusterclux.comhttps://www.facebook.com/flustercluxhttps://www.instagram.com/flusterclux/
33 minutes | 3 months ago
Why Rigidity is the Bellwether of Anxiety Disorders in Children
Show Notes0:34 Lynn and Robin discuss the new season of Flusterclux and describe who the podcast is for. Lynn describes emotional management as a goal for her therapy clients and her own family and why it is such a critical skill to strengthen relationships and prevent loneliness.6:10 Robin and Lynn discuss the reason behind the name change from A Mom’s Retreat to Flusterclux.8:46 Robin asks Lynn how families can tell if anxiety and anxious patterns are creeping into a household as a result of the stress of 2020. Lynn talks about rigidity and routine and explains the critical importance of flexibility within a routine for children and teens.19:06 Robin asks Lynn how parents should be talking to their children about fall schedules to make room for its possibilities of changing.21:53 Robin asks Lynn if there are better ways to talk to teens about school this fall than others to promote flexibility and adaptability.Lynn asks listeners a critical question she suggests all families ask themselves about the pandemic.24:19 Lynn answers a listener question about a child who gets anxious being on camera and needs a reassurance that remote learning cannot provide.Lynn talks about the skill to develop around accepting criticism and social anxiety’s fear of judgement.30:12 Lynn shares stories of her husband’s past whistling and then shows off her own whistling talents.32:10 Join our Facebook group so that you can submit a question for a future episode with Lynn.We thank our sponsor Milestones Pediatric Therapy Center.Find us atflusterclux.comhttps://www.facebook.com/flustercluxhttps://www.instagram.com/flusterclux/Show music by Peter Sandberg.
31 minutes | 4 months ago
Back To School Anxiety: Supporting The Social-Emotional Needs of Students and Teacher
0:49 Robin reads the first question from listeners.Hi, I’m a school counselor in an elementary school. The return to school has many parents, myself included, anxious. With that said, how do you suggest I coach parents on supporting students prior to the return date? We know kids are picking up their cues from the adults. They’re surrounded by and many times those adults are unintentionally feeding student fears. How can I assist a family member and myself who’s super stressed and anxious, but is unwilling or unable to change patterns?7:44 Lynn talks about the importance of positive expectancy in our language with our children.9:44 Lynn gives in home and at school ways to create ritual for a new school year.12:10 Lynn talks about why academics are NOT the priority this fall, and has a special message for parents concerned about their children falling behind academically.15:49 Robin reads the second listener question about teacher anxietyI facilitate the majority of our building-based professional development as I try to think about what the fall will look like, and I really can’t. We have a few teachers we’re really concerned about in regards to their emotional health and readiness for in-person instruction. My principal and I have discussed this at length, how do we address this with them gracefully without putting them over the edge and make them feel supported? We think they could really use some professional help. What can we do?19:17 Robin referenced one of Lynn’s Facebook Live videos talking about feeling back to school anxiety for the first time: “the worry rookies”.21:13 Robin talked about this Facebook post that was a letter from nurses to teachers.22:03 Lynn talks about not misplacing anger or blame on the school situation but to model empathy.Get inspired by our summer guide in order to make some memories or celebrate the start of school.
24 minutes | 4 months ago
Listeners Ask: Siblings Fighting: Don't Say Boys Will Be Boys
0:31 HOW TO HELP SIBLINGS STOP FIGHTING“How to best deal with sibling fights being stuck at home for such an extended time. All the extra emotions everyone is feeling siblings are fighting way more than usual. What can I do?”0:54 Lynn differentiates between the two kinds of sibling fights. One is that it’s mostly verbal and yelling and calling each other names or arguing over who gets to sit where on the couch, etc. And the other is when they get physical, and so somebody is in danger of getting hurt.7:42 AVOID “BOYS WILL BE BOYS” THINKINGLynn explains the negative impact tolerating violence causes and how to set limits to curb it.13:49 The Montessori school cure all o9f a little Dixie cup of water14:30 A WORKING MOM WITH AN EMPTY TANK“As a working mom with two children under five, I’ve noticed a significant change in my own frustration, tolerance, and increased exhaustion and anger during the quarantine. Aside from taking a walk with the stroller, time alone or spending any time on myself is just nonexistent. And neither child sleeps through the night consistently. What strategies can I employ at home to be less emotionally reactive?”15:09 Start with sleep. We did a whole episode on sleep,19:11 The playifcation on relaxation with tingly head massagers that are in the shape of a tulip.22:09 Join our Facebook group where you can submit your own questions to Lynn for a future episode. We’re relaunching this podcast August 31st for a second season under a new name. Follow our social media. That’s where you’ll learn about the new name first.
29 minutes | 4 months ago
Listeners Ask: Back To School Anxiety and Teens Self Diagnosing Their Depression
18 minutes | 4 months ago
Listeners Ask: Teens And Peer Pressure
For our summer bonus episodes, Lynn is answering listener questions. "Help. I do not recognize my newly turned 13-year-old, she is exhibiting behavior I never would have anticipated. She has a thrill for adrenaline and constantly asking me about stupid things I did as a kid, and I feel like I'm mourning the sweetest little girl I've ever known. She recently confessed that she has attempted cutting which absolutely floored me."Lynn talks about how to help your teenagers develop skills to say no to their friends and how to show empathy without imitating their friends who have self destructive habits.Lynn mentions her webinar, Teens, Anxiety, and Depression, for teens and parents for families who feel that their children are struggling during this age.Robin references Lynn's Facebook Live video about the stresses of fall school and how parents are trying to manage the choices of going back to school this fall.If you have a listener question for Lynn, be sure to join the podcast Facebook group to submit one.
41 minutes | 5 months ago
Co-Parenting In A Pandemic: How to Find A Better Balance
The research shows this pandemic has been disruptive to our families in significant ways. It's putting our marriages and relationships to the test. Collegial coparenting is critical. So as we share the parenting load, there are traps we all fall into with our partners and spouses. Lynn talks about asking for help in the right way, dropping defensiveness, resentment, and learning not to take the wrong things personally.In this episode Robin references Deb Perelmen's article in the New York Times: "In the Covid-19 Economy, You Can Have a Kid or a Job. You Can’t Have Both."Robin also references an episode of Celebrity Wife Swap but could not remember who starred in the episode. It was actually the premiere episode featuring Carnie Wilson and Tracey Gold.When referencing the movie This is 40 by Judd Apatow, Robin speaks of her past as a travel writer and how she's trying to bring the feeling of a vacation into the home.And if you need some inspiration, we have that summer episode guide from last week with all sorts of ways to create some family fun.The end song is Susie Tallman's Kookaburra, from one of her many outstanding children's albums.
37 minutes | 5 months ago
A Family Summer Guide To 2020: Social Distancing Fun
Summer's here, and after our spring, we all would like to have some special summer moments outside with our families. In this episode, Lynn Lyons discusses how to handle common reactions from children.Maybe your child is anxious the virus and doesn't want to ease back into normal activities. Maybe your older kids are wanting to be too social or not social enough.We unpack boredom and its connection to creativity and unstructured play so that listeners can be ready with a constructive response to "I'm bored".And finally we discuss our ultimate summer guide to family fun. We asked podcast listeners to share their ideas on ways to make some magic for their kids this summer. The guide has 33 ideas: inside, outside, virtual, and local; you're bound to find ideas right for your family.We mention several things for summer activities and socializing that we compiled as an Amazon list. It includes the chocolate coins, picnic and hiking supplies, and the portable potty system Robin discusses.Music at the end of the episode includes "Summertime" with permission by Susie Tallman whose children's albums were some of our favorites when our kids were younger.
36 minutes | 6 months ago
Listeners Ask: Meltdowns, Anxiety And Depression in Kids
This has been a crazy 2020. I mean, things were changing month by month, then week by week now, day by day, and what I'm hearing and perhaps what you're experiencing as parents is that kids are feeling more emotional. Maybe you're seeing an uptick in their anxiety, they're a little more withdrawn, more depressed, maybe there's an increasing feeling of anger or fear or frustration about what's going on in the world with the virus and with the protests.So today, we're going to take questions from you, the listeners, about the things you're seeing emotionally in your kids and what we can do to help as we try and navigate what continues to be such a tricky time. Lynn answers five questions from members of our Facebook group. And we discuss our next episode on ways to make your summer still memorable with several ideas for socially distanced family fun.Our affiliate link will get you $20 off of a Circle, and I highly recommend one.Read a complete transcript on our website.
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