Listen Now

As an avid furniture connoisseur, we love to keep up-to-date on IKEA's latest releases. However, the recently leaked schematics for their newest, most cutting edge chair, the Dödsfälla, has given us pause for concern. There appears to be a minor design flaw where the chair snaps closed at the slightest hint of pressure and crushes people to death. We think it might be worth sending our comedy improv teams to the IKEA Headquarters in Stockholm, where the first global shipment is imminent.

Eureka! A bunch of PhD hoarding virgins also sometimes known as ‘scientists’, have invented an all new superlight metal made of hydrogen. Apparently, this constitutes a reason to celebrate, so there will be a ceremonial unveiling. But gasp! The ceremonial ribbon cutting scissors, made of the aforementioned hydrogen metal, have been dropped, and are now floating up the towards the ceremonial blimp, full of trapped ceremonial orphans on a ceremonial field trip! So our comedy improv teams are heading to Lincoln, Nebraska to save the day!

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Dick Van Dyke is reprising his role in the long-awaited sequel “Mary Poppins 2: Revelations!” However, his unique, universally recognisable cockney accent has lost its way a little over the years, and in order to recapture the magic of the original, he’ll need an accent transplant! A suitably nostalgic cockney accent is currently frozen in storage in Hackney. Our comedy improv teams better go fetch it for him!

My goodness what is that smell? It really is the most awful stench imaginable! It’s worse than an extreme yoga session in a sulphur factory and reports are coming in that it’s being noticed all over the planet! It looks like our comedy improv teams are going to have to seek out the help of world-renowned smellologist ‘Dr Stinklestein’ in order to sniff out some clues. Unfortunately, he lives in a teepee in the Australian Outback. Where his experiments (luckily) can’t affect anybody.

Pizza, pasta and Neapolitan ice-cream! Danny Devito’s got them all and he’s selling them on the new Italian food channel, ‘Stuff up-a your face’. But there’s something wrong: we’ve noticed the glowing beauty spot on his temple is moving. Oh no! It’s a laser sight! Our comedy improv teams are going to have to race to the TV studio in LA to save their demure friend from assassination!

Gary Lineker has gone insane! After years of pretending to be invested in the so-called “beautiful game”, he has stripped naked and started trashing the ‘Match of the Day’ set, while declaring his true passion to the world... Tiddlywinks! Our comedy improv teams must hasten to the studio and satiate his competitive disc firing madness with a pack of ready salted crisps. It’s the only way to stop him!

X-Factor overlord Simon Cowell is buying his eleventh and most outrageous property yet, the Eiffel Tower! However, there’s been a massive motorway jam on the roads of Paris, and his moving van has been held up! Oh, but that’s got all his favourite things in it, his teeth whitener, his underpaid production runners and his Louis Walsh. So our comedy improv teams are heading towards Paris to fetch all his stuff for him.

It’s a total disgrace isn’t it? On top of the pathetic skeletal ribcage which now apparently passes as a “Toblerone”, it appears as if the manufacturers of the once great elongated chocolate pyramid have finally gone mad! The spacing, width and frequency of the chocolate chunks have become entirely randomised! So our comedy improv teams are of the the Toblerone production plant in Bern, Switzerland to demand some solid coco answers!

Twisty French weirdos, Cirque Du Soleil, are wowing audiences all over the world in a recent sell-out tour! It’s spectacular... that is until a show in Oslo where the performers proceed to hold their entire audience at sword-point, demanding their worldly possessions. We probably have about 3 minutes before they complete their convoluted robbery dance and leave the polite Nordics penniless! So our comedy improv teams are racing to the Norwegian national theatre, to save the audience and put a stop to these flexible felons! And for the first time ever, we’re doing it all live! In front of a massive audience!

Oh boy, the stars have really aligned today! By some stroke of incredible fortune, our ‘comedy improv’ teams have actually got an amazing first date lined up at one of the finest restaurants in Venice! They think that this person could really be the one. They're funny, smart, attractive and most importantly, real! But we’ve no time for gushing, because the team have somehow found themselves in a bizarre situation on the other side of the globe; with their date starting any minute. They better hurry, romance awaits!

England has woken up one morning to find that Scotland has actually done it! They’ve finally split from the UK mainland... physically! They’re now drifting in the middle of the North Sea. So it looks like our comedy improv teams need to get to ‘Scotland Island’ and find some way to convince the populace to come back. Can they save the union? Presented by James Cottle. With Tom Harrison, Joe Thompson, David Alnwick and David Wylie.

In a stunning development, Google has totally disappeared. Even Bing can't find it! Within hours, hacker collective Anonymous have posted a ransom video to YouTube, complete with radical spinning skull icons, demanding one billion dollars. Knowing there's only one web directory nobody has tried yet; our comedy improv teams decide to locate ‘Archie’, the world's first search engine housed in the ancient caverns below central Montreal. Can they save Google before it's too late?

It’s a dark day for the staff at ‘Falkirk Morrisons Supermarket’! Someone has taken a plastic bag without paying 5p for it! This injustice will not stand, but luckily the government has put tracking devices on all the bags in order to catch these devious bandits. So our comedy improv teams are heading to ‘La Paz’ in Bolivia to retrieve the requisite payment.

It looks like ‘The National Treasure Society’ has given up any pretence and announced they’ve just been randomly handing out the title of “National Treasure” to people on the telly whose only claim to fame is being ‘lovely’. However, their National Treasure assigning machine has broken and has bestowed the title to Kevin James, star of “Paul Blart: Mall Cop”, and other such terrible, terrible films. So our comedy-improv teams are off to his home in Beverly Hills, hoping to intercept the official telegram for the dignity of the entire UK!

The American & British governments are coming together to unveil their latest global achievement; a Transatlantic Express Rail service that sends passengers shooting across the ocean between the two countries. One problem though, they have yet to put any brakes on the locomotives, and the first departure is in three minutes! So our comedy improv teams are heading to the terminal in Cornwall as fast as they can to help fix the problem!

What did you say? The careless keepers at Berlin Zoo have left the gates wide open at the manatee enclosure? Meaning the majestic aquatic beasts have made a break for freedom and are now halfway up the motorway, causing all kinds of motor vehicle-based shenanigans? Well, it looks like our ‘comedy improv’ teams are off to Berlin to help round them all up!

A hairy historian believes he has discovered the whereabouts of the Holy Grail, the cup Jesus himself drank from at the last supper. With the promise of eternal life to whoever drinks from it, our comedy improv teams can’t wait to help him recover it. He entrusts all four of them with a map to it's secret location; in the Cathedral of Saint John the Divine in New York City. Will our teams choose wisely?

It looks like Barack Obama’s ‘New Years Eve Party’ got a little out of hand last night. Firstly, David Cameron and the rest of the lads all went for a cheeky Nandos and have left chicken bones all over the presidential bed. Also, somebody seems to have turned the ‘Oval Office’ into an ‘Isosceles Triangle’, and it looks like Vladimir Putin has projectile vomited all over the bust of George Washington! But most worryingly of all; is the strange disappearance of Hilary Clinton. The only clue anybody can find is a selfie on her Facebook profile; taken in front of the ‘Taj Mahal’

It’s the London premiere of “The Force Awakens” and tickets are only available for a privileged few, but what’s this? JJ Abrams is calling our teams on the phone. Could it be that their years of dedication to the franchise (both good, bad and holiday special) are finally paying off? You see, it turns out that some half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder, has replaced the current cut of the film with one that inserts Jar Jar Binks into every scene! Surely only one person could love that CGI monstrosity so much. So JJ has asked our comedy improv teams to go to California and confront the actor that played him; Ahmed Best and help save the London premiere! Help us “A Little Bit Racey” you’re our only hope...

It’s Christmas Eve and all around, everyone is safe and sound. But what’s this? Has Father Christmas lost his mind? A present has been left behind! How did he even begin? To forget about poor Tiny Tim? This boy who lives in Brussels. Is surely deserving of his action man with muscles. Our comedy improv teams grab the doll and off they go. To catch up with Santa, he’s over in Togo (hint: it’s in Africa)