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In this weeks podcast, I discuss how, even without noticing it, self-medicating with alcohol or prescription medicines can be our ‘go-to’ way to deal with the emotional and psychological pressure of being an unpaid carer and how to manage it.If you feel that this is a behaviour that might be having a negative impact on your life, there are practical exercises and resources and links to useful information and organisations to help you to make informed choices about your situation and way forward.I also share a personal challenge I have chosen for 2021, so why not have a read or listen to the podcast and see if you would like to join me, it would be great to have you walking alongside me on that journey as well!

If you would prefer to read the blog version of this episode, please click hereThis week's thought-provoking podcast is the fourth and last in a four-part series covering four of the most prominent emotions carers experience throughout their caring journey: guilt, resentment, grief and anger and today I am discussing anger.Anger isn't an emotion that particularly resonated with me when I first started to explore carers emotions for a recent Masters degree. However, it quickly became clear that it is definitely of the prominent emotions carers experience and then often have intense feelings of guilt about. In this episode, I have the pleasure of talking with Anger Management Expert, Tanya Heasley and she shares with us about how anger can show up in your life, where it comes from and it is actually a very important emotion and trying to suppress it can cause depression. She then outlines some practical activities you can do to try to reduce any negative impact it might be having, on you as a caregiver. Tanya also tells us about a 31st Mental Fitness Challenge she is running in December 2020, please see the show notes for more details. If you have any questions about this or any of the topics covered, please contact us at enquiries@carershearts.org

If you would prefer to read the blog version of this episode, please click hereThis week's thought-provoking podcast is the third in a four-part series covering four of the most prominent emotions carers experience throughout their caring journey: guilt, resentment, grief and anger and today I am discussing grief. Grief is normally associated with bereavement, however, in a lot of situations, including in the caring scenario, experiencing a sense of loss and grief can be felt while still in the active caring phase.  Firstly, I will explore carers’ grief, which is less researched and talked about, in terms of why it is important to be aware of it; how it is subtly different to bereavement grief;  I will share how grief showed up in my life as I care for my love one and then share some exercises and activities you can try to reduce any negative impact it might be having, or potentially will have, on you as a caregiver. If you have any questions about this or any of the topics covered, please contact us at enquiries@acarersheart.com

If you would prefer to read the blog version of this episode, please click hereThis week's thought-provoking podcast is the second in a four-part series covering four of the most prominent emotions carers experience throughout their caring journey: guilt, resentment, grief and anger and today we are discussing with resentment. This is a topic which is particularly close to my heart. Although a common emotion, resentment, is less spoken about and is less often discussed in forums and in blog posts related to caring. However, there is a natural progression from constant feelings of guilt and other emotions, such as frustration, loneliness and fear, that can lead to a strong sense of resentment, not only towards the situation you are in due to being a carer, but also towards the person who is at the centre of making that situation a reality, the cared-for-person.I will be exploring how you can recognise if you are developing feelings of resentment towards your caring situation or loved one and share practical examples of how I approached dealing it my feelings of resentment and other activities to start to manage and reduce its impact on your life. If you have any questions about this or any of the topics covered, please contact us at enquiries@acarersheart.com

If you would prefer to read the blog version of this episode, please click hereThis week I am reviewing Hugh Marriott empathic and thought-provoking book 'The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring' and you definitely don't want to miss hear me talking about Chapter 12!If you have any questions about this or any of the topics covered, please contact us at enquiries@acarersheart.com  

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This weeks thought-provoking blog post and podcast, is the first in a four-part series covering the four most prominent emotions carers experience throughout their caring journey: guilt, resentment, grief and anger and today we are starting with probably the most common emotion, guiltFeeling guilt as a carer is simply part of your role and life. It's not about 'if' you feel guilt, but about 'when' and how often. Unable to share the feelings of guilt with family or friends, as it is often linked with remorse, regret and shame, the psychological pressure builds, until you start to feel the negative impact, putting your mental wellbeing at risk.I discuss examples of when guilt can be triggered; explain why recognising and understanding the emotion of guilt when it shows up, is the first step in unhooking yourself from its power and provide exercises for you to start practising and building on this discussion, ready to explore the next emotion, resentment, which can easily develop from a constant feeling of guilt, which will be published on the 7th October.

This week is an introduction to a four-part series covering the four most prominent emotions carers experience throughout their caring journey: guilt, resentment, grief and anger.However, before I started this thought-provoking series, I thought it would be useful to provide some clarity of a term I use in most posts, Emotional Resilience. So, I will explain why this is an important and useful skill to understand, provide some exercises for you to start practising and then build on this discussion, as I explore guilt, resentment, grief and anger over the following four blog posts. I will start by unpicking some of the different definitions for ‘resilience’, then discuss how ‘Emotional Resilience’ fits into helping us to manage difficult emotions, make a positive contribution to our mental wellbeing and provide us with tools to help us to support ourselves in the weeks, months and years of caring we provide for our loved ones.

Welcome to this second episode about finding meaning and purpose as a carer. Last week I explored the meaning of ‘meaning’ and its importance in our wellbeing as carers. I shared some definitions to help to explain the concept of meaning and then discussed some ways you can find sources of meaning, such as in relationships, achievements and self-acceptance.This week I am going to introduce other aspects of meaning in life, such as the ‘darker side’ of meaning; searching for meaning and suggestions for creating meaning as a carer/caregiver. I will finish with some exercises and activities, so you can explore different aspects of meaning, such as finding meaning and purpose as part of posttraumatic growth. 

First off, the short answer to the question in the title is…42! If you have seen or heard of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, then you probably already knew that answer!In this episode and next week, I will be discussing ‘meaning in life’ in the caregiving context. I will start with an introduction to the meaning of ‘meaning’ and its relationship to ‘purpose’, both of which are the foundation for finding meaning in our lives. I will then explore some ‘sources’ of meaning as carers with examples of what those might look and feel like. Finally, next week, I will dive a little deeper in the different aspects of meaning, such as searching for meaning, creating meaning and the ‘dark side’ of meaning and share some activities and exercises to help you to develop your emotional and psychological wellbeing and to live a richer, more fulfilled life. 

In this episode, I talk about some of the reasons why people who care for friends and loved ones, do and do not refer to themselves as cares/caregivers.  I discuss what the advantages can be in identifying yourself as a carer/caregiver and why. I also summaries the benefits for employers in supporting their employees, to both identify themselves as carers and retaining them in the workplace by fostering a flexible, supportive and inclusive working environment. 

If you have a friend, family member or work colleague who you know or think is a carer/caregiver, in this bonus episode, I talk about some of the barriers that they might have with staying in touch with you and discuss some suggestions for different communications styles to support them and develop your relationship in a new and sustainable way.

It doesn’t matter who you are caring for a partner, a parent or child, loneliness can affect us all at any time.In this episode, I talk about how we can feel more isolated and lonely, as our lifestyle changes as carers. It can result from having to withdraw from usual activities such as the routine of working and engaging with work colleagues, seeing less of friends, or not being able to carry out hobbies and activities.I share some evidence from several research studies over the last couple of years, which outlines why it is important to take positive action towards reducing loneliness and then go through some ideas for connecting with likeminded people, such as finding and joining in with local activities, learning a new skill and sharing your wealth of knowledge and skills to benefit others. If you have any questions about this episode or have a topic you would like to have included, please contact me at enquiries@acarersheart.com.

Welcome to A Care's Heart podcast.In this very short extra episode, I am letting you know that the schedule of the podcasts is going to change. They were originally every Wednesday, so four a month, possibly five. However, I am going to have to change that down to two episodes, the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of each month.The reason being I took over a year planning A Care's Heart and it's something I'm incredibly passionate about. But I'm still very much learning about podcasting, the technical side of it, putting everything together social media, and it is taking an awful lot longer than I had thought he would and that I had planned for. And as an active carer, it's beginning to impact on my ability to care for my loved one. So, to ensure that I can keep podcasting and keep providing the best support I can for you, I need to drop down to two episodes a month, for the time being anyway until either one, I get a lot better at the technology and the processes and I become a lot quicker at being able to put them together and put them out. Or I'm in a position to outsource some of that.If you have any questions, please do email me at enquiries@acarersheart.com and I will be putting out the first of the new schedule of podcasts and that will be on Wednesday, the 1st July and I hope you will be able to join me for that, as I will be talking about loneliness as a carer, even though you may not be alone. 

This week we're talking about planning, but not planning in terms of your role as a carer but planning for YOU.  For a lot of us, we have to plan for things like medication or having an emergency plan, the essential things to actually make our lives work as carers, to run families and to work, whatever it is that we need to do.  But what if you would like to do something just for you, something that you can plan for you, and something that you will benefit for as an individual. Wanting something, planning for something, just for us, like learning a new language or playing an instrument; refreshing an old hobby, is going to come along with emotions, like guilt but that doesn’t mean you can’t and shouldn’t do it.  There are emotional and psychological advantages of focusing on something that brings you pleasure and perhaps, stretches your mind. You are also likely to really benefit from it, not just psychologically but also in how you manage and grow as a caregiver.  Let's explore your dreams and I will help you to start to prepare a workable plan for your future, one step at a time. 

This episode goes through the additional challenges we have face and will continue to face as carers/caregivers, during the COVID 19 pandemic.I go through the three phases of coping, starting with the first weeks as we went into lockdown, to where the world is now, emerging from isolation to thinking about the future and how we might need to think differently.I will explore five different exercises and tools for you to try, separate recordings of some of the exercises will be published later in the week and everything mentioned in this episode will be available in written form as well. 

Episodes will be published every Wednesday morning at 7 am (UK Time) and will last between 15- 30 mins. At the end of each episode, I will discuss further reading and research, exercises and activities.Some of the topics may be sensitive, such as talking about grief or bereavement. Although they will always be focused on providing emotional and psychological support, if you feel you would rather not listen to those episodes, but would still like to receive show notes and resources, let me know and I will be pleased to send them to you. Weekly Themes I outline the themes for each week of the month. At the end of each episode, I will let you know what the topic is for the following week, but it will be under one of the themes mentioned at the beginning of this episode. So who is A Carer’s Heart for?All carers/caregivers are very welcome, regardless of who you are caring for such as a child, parent, partner, friend, anyone. Listeners of all faiths and cultures are most welcome, wherever you live in the world; whether or not you consider yourself a care/caregiver or whether you are caring full or part-time, live with your caree or not.Are you a cared-for person?  Although A Carer’s Heart is intended to support the wellbeing of carers so they can best support their loved ones, you are an important part of that relationship, so you are most welcome as well. Indeed, if you have any thoughts on how your carer might be best supported, then I would love to hear from you. Stage in your caring journeyA Carer’s Heart is for you at any stage of your caring journey. Whether you are at the beginning of your caring journey and are in the process of preparing or thinking about becoming a caregiver; whether you have been caring for a while or the active part of the caring has now ended. What will not be covered in A Carer’s HeartThe focus of A Carer’s Heart is us, as carers, not those we care for. A Carer’s Heart is about YOU and your needs.  The best way for me to support YOU, is to concentrate on the challenges you are currently facing or might face in the future.I will not be referring to any illnesses or conditions cared for individuals might be dealing with and will only be referring to the challenges we face as a result of caring for another person in neutral terms, never giving specific examples of what an individual is suffering from or something they have or have not done.Also, I won’t be covering anything to do with the administrative part of being a carer, for examples how and what allowances to apply for and dealing with health care providers. However, I will be covering the emotions and feelings that can be activated when dealing with these types of situations. Next episode  Next Wednesday 17th June – Topical Issues - Additional emotional and psychological challenges of being a caregiver during the COVID pandemic and beyond, with some tips to support your psychological wellbeing. Please remember to like A Care’s Heart Facebook page, where I will be posting about forthcoming episodes and have Q&A sessions after each one.  https://www.facebook.com/acarersheart/Also, if you would like to sign up to be notified of additional episodes and other surprise bonuses, please visit podcast.acarersheart.comThank you again for listening to A Carer’s Heart podcast, I hope you can join me next week, stay safe and remember what a special thing it is that you do!