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Episode Info: Welcome to Interesting If True, the podcast that will make you the best player of the worst sports. I’m your host this week, Aaron, and with me are: I’m Steve, and this week I’m wondering how I can simultaneously always want to watch, learn, or do something else before bed, but then never leave bed? I’m Shea, and this week I learned that goth anti-vaxxers refuse to listen to the Cure. Enter Story Title Here Ok Shea, this one’s for you. I’ve finally learned about sports… Not tried, of course, but I read about them online. Oh yes, I’ve put on my finest pair of pigeon-cleats and went for a jaunt in marry ol’England to partake of their finest sport… Kottobas – Antiquity Of course, if not for the Greeks we wouldn’t have the wonders of Dwile Flocking. It’s… let’s say predecessor… probably, Kottobas was a favorite circa fourth and fifth centuries BC. To begin one must first tap a new vat of wine and serve to friends and enemies alike. Once the goblets near empty, contestants would assume the sporting position… reclining on there dining table, and deftly flick the remaining wine sediment from their glass at a target. Apparently success in Kottobas was a precursor to success in affairs of the heart — because those who competes in the wine-games sees only 10s. Pulling Your Goose The Mid-17th century was a glorious time for animal based sport – and masterbation jokes. To begin pulling your goose you need some rope to tie it up with and a horse. The goose is hung by its feet from a tree or whatever and contestants take turns riding the horse at a full gallop and try to grab the goose’s head. The goal, because everything back then was terrible and covered in the blood of the innocent, was to pull the gooses head off. Thereby forever enshrining your position as a master head puller and also, I assume, winning you the goose-head. Also you’re, “crowned” as the “king” for one whole year with a crown and mantle. At the end of his “king” reign, he has to indulge his “subjects” to a feast of beer, cigars and bread pudding or sausages that is held either at his house or the local pub. Kings compete with each other to become the “emperor”. The event is still practiced today in Belgium, the Netherlands, and Germany. Though use of a live goose was banned in the 1920’s. Though purist still argue that half the challenge was the bird flapping about, and a flaccid goose just isn’t as much fun to pull on. Dwile Flonking – 1960 First things first, we’re going to have to get into a gaming mood with a rousing round of Dwile Flonking. One of the more recent inventions of English sport, Dwile Flonking comes from Norfolk, min-1960… and almost certainly a pub. The rules are simple enough. You and 24 of your closest friends get together and divide into two even teams — the stupidest person of the group, or as the rules specify a “dull-witted person,” is picked last and becomes the Jobanowl, or referee. Fro...
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