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When Steinway, the first piano, emerged from the primordial piano ooze (this is true, trust us), did he one day realize that Piano 2.0, the Piian2 8te, would make the Piano 1.0 look like a joke instrument for dummies? God, I hope not. How depressing. Anyway, some of the improvements we've made are: less keyboards! More face-squishing! More hydraulics! More snakes (way more snakes)! Typically a piano has three pedals, and so does a car – you see where I'm going with this? Finally: Tom invents Reverse Shazam™, which is when you know what song it is but it's not currently playing, it's hard to believe nobody invented it yet honestly.

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