Internet Headlines Good news for Global Warming Enthusiasts. In other news, a golden retriever in Michigan has better dental coverage than us. Stolen Taco Truck Caters breakfast to one school’s bus. Well, she did ask him for a thick burger. Casey’s former roommate up for parole. At least they get free Prime shipping on their magic underwear. School apologizes for mock slave auction, because you know… reasons. And you thought YOU were a helicopter parent. Roombandits. Headlines we didn’t have to change: Catholic priest 'caught snorting cocaine in Nazi room' Uplifting story of the day: Cancer Schmancer, motherfucker! Florida This guy really liked the movie Castaway. It’s times like these we have to ask why a man can’t just masturbate in his own home. You’ve got to hand it to him…literally. Bruce Wayne has fallen on pretty hard times. I guess Selina Kyle was right, a storm was coming. Let me Google tha— nevermind, you go ahead and Google that yourself. She really drove that point home… #SharkNews Our friend Katharine is growing up.