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In this litigious episode of STAB!, senior partner John Morris Ross IV welcomes clerks Nick Coleman, Evan T. Lilley and Jesse Jones to deliver their three different COALs, nine haiku about a church elder soliciting sex with gift cards, their thoughts about nuclear power, Adolph Hitler, South Carolina cesession, ferry sinkings, World Youth Day, & the Cleveland Browns, their business pitches for a hookah lounge on a street where 3 other hookah lounges already exist, a charm bracelet salesman in a town full of handless people, & a knock off association aiming to replace the Girl Scouts of America, and erotic poems about the middle seat on an air plane, garden snails, & Ol’ Saint Nick.

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