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There’s a lot of reasons to hate eggs: the cholesterol, the way they’re always hiding, and of course, how they cause infidelity. There’s no reason NOT to hate eggs.

In this egg loathing episode of STAB! non-hedgehog terrorizing host John Morris Ross IV welcomes non-wall sitting guests Bill Wallis, Melissa McGillicuddy, Ryan King and Jesse Jones to share their four different SYNAPSISes, twelve Google searches from Zombie Luke Perry, along with their thoughts on Pope Zachary, Sergey Bubka, National Shoe The World Day, the People’s Choice Awards, Lil’ Wayne, Nicaraguan Rights, International Day Against Police Brutality, TGIF, battle rap verses against old people, Melissa’s Mom, an egg, Zoo animals, and the synopsis of made-up movies: “Solid Baby Implant”, “The Conscious Hush Parent”, “Lunchroom Stick”, and “Flashy Daughter Prison”.

Cadbury, you bastards, you have tried to normalize egg behavior and make them beloved and, and… Reeses! Oh god, the entirety of Easter has been co-opted by Big Egg. There’s no escape. No escape the cream.

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