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Episode Info:

A limited series from the book Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love., by John Gottman Ph.D., Julie Schwartz Gottman Ph.D., Doug Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams M.D.

About the book:

Strengthen and deepen your love with a fun, ingenious program of eight life-changing conversations—on essential topics such as money, sex, and trust—from two of the world’s leading marriage researchers and clinicians.

Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort—and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on forty years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams.

Interactive activities and prompts provide motivation to stay open, stay curious, and, most of all, stay talking to each other. And the range—from the four skills you need for intimate conversation (including Put Into Words What You Are Feeling) to tips on being honest about your needs, while also validating your partner’s own emotions—will resonate, whether you’re newly together or a longtime couple looking to fortify your bond. You will discover (or rediscover) your partner like never before—and be able to realize your hopes and dreams for the love you desire and deserve.

Show Notes:

2:16 - the start of the date

2:38 First question about your parents' commitment/lack of commitment to each other and how it affects us 😬

19:51 Question 2- what does trust mean to you?

25:07 Question 3- can you describe a time you didn't feel you trusted me? What could I have done differently?

41:23 Question 4 - what can I do for you to trust me more?

49:23 Question 5 - what do you need from me to show you I'm committed to this relationship?

53:30 How Sarah's easy-going childhood gave her a one-way ticket on the struggle bus 🚌

57:38 Question 6 - what areas do we need to work on to build trust

59:45 Question 7 - On trust and commitment, how are we similar and how are we different, and how can we accept these differences?


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