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Episode Info: Can kink be platonic? Is kink always sexual? Can people be monogamous and be part of the BDSM community?Recorded: 5/24/2020 / Published: 7/31/2020Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at On this episode of The Krypt Mayfair and I have a conversation about keeping it Kinky and Platonic. Rules to Love by:1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young by Yana Tallon-Hicks “Hi Yana,Middle-aged straight guy here. I’m in a committed, monogamous relationship with a partner who I love very much. We have a great and satisfying physical sex life though naturally there are dry spells, particularly during the winter-time. I love my partner very much and she is who I want exclusively with no reservations.I’m kinky and my partner engages in kink activity with me in the bedroom. But, I also love talking about sexuality and kink with people. I like people in the kink community and have developed some good friendships over the years. I don’t want to play or have sex with others — I just want to interact with them because I’m lonely. I feel at home and can be myself in the kink community and my sexuality and kink interests may be the one thing I’ve never felt shame and/or low self-esteem about.My partner...Your thoughts? Lonely KinksterDear Lonely,Kink in general (an umbrella term for things like BDSM, fetishes, and the increasingly popular rope bondage and suspension world) often gets tied (harty har) directly to sex. This makes sense because for many people, it is. However, for maybe just as many people, it isn’t.BDSM in particular is famously flexible in the “Is this sexual?” department and very intentional in the boundaries department, making BDSM activities fun and accessible to a wide range of relationship dynamics and contexts.For example, in attending non-sexual, rope education classes such as those hosted by the Western Mass Rope Collective [find out more via], you will find clothed people working on the complex skillsets it takes to tie someone safely in rope complete with lectures, demos, and troubleshooting. In these contexts, friends may tie friends, partners may tie with each other, or strangers may partner up to practice simple knots. This is a classroom, afterall — there’s not much sexual about it.Do people go home and use...Instead of attempting to water down kink...Finally, if someone’s partner wanted to isolate them...Yana Tallon-Hicks is a relationship therapist, sex educator, and writer living in the Pioneer Valley. You can find her work and her professional contact information on her website,
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