Been an interesting few weeks since we last met! The stuff that has made up the gap between podcasts is varied and spread wide. The fight to deal with it all has been as much internal as it's been external. The message that's been forcing its way to the surface seems clear: The me that I am now is not able to get me where I want to go next. Hence, the tile of this week's post. I barely survived the process of overcoming bipolar disorder. Prior to that, I barely survived the things I was doing that allowed bipolar to show up in my life in the first place. The madness of staying sober was a trial by fire too. Employment: the job searches, getting hired to do shit I couldn't stand, the learning of new skills, never making enough money to cover my needs, the stress of quitting, and having to repeat the whole process dozens of times was killing me as well. In order to survive it all, I had to evolve with no help from the traditional sources Now, the mission is no less important but a bit lighter in tone: to be the best version of myself to meet my needs and those of the community that depends on me, in a way that brings me peace and fulfillment. Not as dramatic but almost as frustrating to achieve. But this awareness gives me hope. The last time I realized I was all on my own, it ended quite well! It's how I lived to be with you here today. So, operating on the faith of past successes, I am working on the plan to turn me into the New Me. I know I'll pull this off. But just like the other time, I wish it was happening sooner than it is. Patience is a hard thing to nurture and grow. But now, like before, I have no choice other than to do just that, with the faith that my gut tells me I'm on the right path.