Wife of An Alcoholic: Recovery | Loving An Alcoholic | Codependency| Michelle Lisa Anderson
About This Show
If you’re the wife of an an alcoholic or substance abuser you are not powerless over his addiction. You don’t need to wait for him to get sober to start to feel happiness. Join us for encouragement, hope and some fun (because recovery doesn’t need to be all depressing).
How to feel love, joy and happiness while loving an alcoholic or substance abuser. If you feel exhausted from trying to help, depressed when he’s been drinking or using drugs and worried this roller coaster ride will never end – we can help.
Most Recent Episode
Why We Keep Going Back to Them
I get asked all the time - why do I keep going back to someone who hurts me so much? There are many reasons we stay but instead of guessing - I’m going to be vulnerable and share with you why I kept falling in love with a man who clearly, didn’t love me or himself enough to get sober. Here are the top 4 reasons I kept going back to a broken relationship: I loved his potential. I was married to a great guy. He was funny, charming, smart and good looking. He had it all. And my big and sensitive heart could see all his goodness. And because I was in love with him, I choose to keep focusing on his potential. I thought, that if he could just be that loving guy all the time - our lives would be amazing. And the truth is - if he got sober they may have been, but maybe not. I have a friend who’s husband was sober for over 10 years but he was still very narcissistic and all his decisions were made from a very self-centered place. The truth is, you don’t really know how he would be if he was sober for the rest of his life. So the image you have might not be the most truthful or realistic. I was scared of being alone. For so long all my energy went into focusing on him. Even when things got really bad (and they got really bad) I would suffer and put up with crap because my fear kept me stuck. I was afraid no one else would want me. I was afraid I was going to be alone the rest of my life. I was afraid my kids would blame me. I wasn’t sure how I was going to pay the bills. Or where to live. The ideas of evenings spent alone was terrifying…But I WAS alone because every time he was drunk - he might have been with me but he wasn’t WITH me. He wasn’t offering me anything - instead his disease was tearing me down. Telling me I wasn’t worth it. Once I actually left, I realized that it was far more healthier to lay in bed by myself and read a good book or watch my favorite movie than lay in my bed and wonder when he was going to join me and how drunk or high he was going to be. That’s the kind of tricks this disease plays on you…it convinces you that lying there worrying that he will never get sober is BETTER than laying there in peace by yourself. And that’s just crazy. I didn’t want to look at myself. So if you’ve already been in one alcoholic relationship and now you’re into your second. Or you’ve left you
Rated 5 out of
Wife of an alcoholic 12
I have spent past year watching my spouse fall apart in this disease, but frankly it is me whom has lost herself, i have health problems, anxiety now and so much more. Our marriage is in shambles i have tried pastor, friends, books recently but still struggle to find the strength inside to move on. Afraid i am doing the right thing or worried about him despite horrible way he treats me!! I have listened to you for 2 days straight and cried like a baby. I finally feel like someone undestands. Thank you!! I have felt so hopeless, you are giving me strength. Thank you so much
Date published: 2016-12-28
Rated 5 out of
I needed this !!! Thank You! Thank You!!!!!
I love this podcast. I surrender today, tonight and always. Its nice how I can listen once he's passed out.
Date published: 2015-12-01
Rated 5 out of
So glad to stumble onto your website!
I was at the end of my rope, literally. Every time he fell off the wagon I would fall into despair, anxiety, and panic. There would be a huge blow up, tears and blame. He would always insist that I take blame, partial blame as he called it, for his drinking or the aftermath that ensued afterwards. I was suicadal, wanting it to stop, just stop feeling and dealing. Now I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel with no antidepressants, anxiety and panic attack pills. Just listening has motivated me to stop focusing on him, focus on me, my wants, my dreams, my hopes and my happiness. Thank you! I am reaching out to the right people and getting the help I needed for ME!
Date published: 2017-01-28
Rated 5 out of
So glad I found this podcast
As a wife of an alcoholic who happens to be in the helping professions as a career; I find this podcast to be helpful for women because it is simple to follow and and provides very good guidelines in how to help oneself when living with a husband who has this disease. I really enjoyed today's podcast because it reminded me that women who love a person who is in addiction cannot follow the same relationship advice as couples who are not dealing with addiction in their relationship. Like Lisa, I have studied a lot of material on alcohol abuse/alcoholism personally and professionally and I truly have realized that this type of relationship has it's own rules and guidelines that need to be followed if one wants to get better- regardless whether or not the husband/partner gets better or not. For those professional women out there like myself who has found themselves in an addictive relationship- do not be ashamed to ask for help. As professionals- we are the ultimate fixers,; but often to the detriment of ourselves. We have to love ourselves first! Michelle Lisa, you have reminded me that it is okay to seek help too! I am definitely considering joining your program for myself and so I can refer your program to my clients who may be going through similar issues. Thanks for being brave enough to start this movement.
Date published: 2017-01-08