The Christian Habits Podcast
About This Show
Do you ever feel like you can’t change no matter how hard you try? On the Christian Habits Podcast, we’ll talk about biblical transformation through the renewing of the mind. This is a practical, hands-on podcast that will help you break free from the things that control you: things like bad habits, idolatry, overeating, and negative emotions such as worry, insecurity, anger, and stress. We’ll also talk about how to develop a close relationship with God as we develop the habit of going to Him for help with life.
Most Recent Episode
34: 10 Tips for When Your Spouse Won’t Change
Do you ever think, If only my spouse would change, then I’d be happy? If you’ve been married for any length of time, you’ve probably thought that at least once. Unfortunately, God hasn’t given us a magic wand to change our spouses! That’s okay though. Here are 10 tips to help you when your spouse won’t change.
10 Tips For When Your Spouse Won’t Change
1. Recognize that you can’t change everyone you want to change.
Now you might be thinking, Isn’t this a no-brainer? Doesn’t everyone know that? Well, no. I didn’t. It took me almost 20 years to learn that little fact. I always thought that if I could just think of that one thing to say–that one sparkling, shiny thought–that then my husband would see the light and say, “Where have you been all my life? Of course I want to change!”
I kept trying to find that sparkly thought, but I never found it. Then I started truth journaling. And after two months of truth journaling the same thoughts over and over, God finally got through my thick head and said, “Barb! Wake up! I haven’t given you the power to change everyone.”
That was back in the days when I thought I was the good guy and my husband was the bad guy. God used the annoying faults of my husband to point out my own annoying faults (one of them being a critical and condemning spirit). God taught me how to love and enjoy people in their as-is condition, which brings me to the next point.
2. Recognize that your spouse isn’t as bad as you think he or she is.
I was operating under the impression that some faults are terrible and other faults aren’t that bad. Interestingly, all of my faults fit into the “not that bad” category. My husband’s faults fit into the “terrible” category.
I was delusional.
My husband was a great person, just a very different person than I. With different strengths, weaknesses, preferences, and priorities. Who was I to say that I was the good one and he was the bad one? We both had sinful tendencies.
God in His kindness put us together because He wanted us t