Speaking of Sex with The Pleasure Mechanics
About This Show
Expert sex advice, proven techniques and candid conversation from The Pleasure Mechanics. Discover how to have the sex you crave! Like Savage Lovecast? You’ll love Speaking of Sex!
Most Recent Episode
Sex Out Of Obligation
7 days ago
Is it ever a good idea to have sex out of obligation? Do you owe your spouse a sex life? What is your obligation to your partner when it comes to sex? We hear variations of this question quite often, and in this podcast we tackle this complicated and emotional issue head on.
Click the play button at the top of this page to listen to this podcast episode on the hazards of having sex out of obligation - and discover the healthy alternative to obligatory intercourse!
Here is the letter that inspired this email. In episode 231 we will discuss what to do when your sexual desire is alive and well, but you don’t want to have sex with your spouse! Be in touch to ask a question or suggest a topic for a future episode by clicking here!
I have a question following your latest podcast on sex initiation/refusal. I have been with the same partner for 15 years, we have two children under the age of 11. Four years ago, I felt like my sex drive was declining to the point where my partner threatened to find sex with someone else, if I kept refusing.
I rarely initiated sex and we were having sex maybe once or twice a month at this point. His threat made me extremely fearful, so I made a real effort to say yes more, even though I really didn't want to, and we made the agreement that we would prioritise sex once a week, mainly to keep him happy.
Sometimes, I warmed up and found myself enjoying it, and sometimes it just wasn't happening so I allowed him to have sex with me, even though it did nothing for me. The reason I did this is because if he does not get it, he becomes extremely angry which comes out as him being snappy at me and our two children. I soon realised that if he didn't get any sex from me, my weekends would be miserable, and felt like it wasn't worth the hassle of refusing as I was just making matters worse for myself and my children.
Fast forward to today. There are now many more days where I do not enjoy sex. This is not because my partner is selfish or bad in bed, but I feel like I simply do not fancy him anymore. I don't know if it's a mixture of resentment that has been built up over the years because I felt threatened that he would leave, but it has now got to the point where, although we are have sex weekly and sometimes twice per week, he is tired of me not enjoying it, and has again threatened to go elsewhere.
This time, however, I have resigned myself to the fact that I cannot c
Rated 5 out of
Easily among the world's top ten greatest podcasts
Speaking of Sex is easily among the world's top ten greatest podcasts. Even top five, maybe. When it comes to sex advice, this podcast is the finest widely-available "periodical" in the English language, in any medium.
This podcast's hosts are named Chris and Charlotte. They virtually always present information in an accessible, practical way. Likewise, they always focus on how real sexual pleasure is best achieved by real people, in light of any relevant emotional or medical concerns.
But what's truly impressive is that even without relinquishing their plain-language/no-bull style, Chris and Charlotte reveal themselves as dynamic advocates for change in our cultural ideas about sex.
In other words, they serve not only as coaches to help us personally attain more pleasure, but also as analysts to point out root social or psychological causes of common sex problems. This is important because we listeners frequently need advice not just on techniques; but on attitudes, expectations, and even general facts regarding what sex is.
An episode called "Shattering the Greatest Myth", from mid-2014, is the epitome of what I'm trying to explain, about how ambitious and special this podcast is.
Date published: 2014-10-23
Rated 5 out of
The best podcast on sexuality I have heard! The hosts are knowledgable, friendly and open-minded - every episode is fascinating, even when not on a subject that I am super curious about, I listen every time cause I get something out of it each time! Highly recommended
Date published: 2014-01-29
Rated 5 out of
One of my favorites!
I listen to almost every show, they've got great levelheaded advice.
Date published: 2014-06-04